Millennium Bling
by Goddess of Dragons
Summary: Yugi & his peeps visit Harlem for Tea’s competition. Has Pegasus really become a pimp? Who is Ghetto Seto? And what’s up with Bakura's Millennium Bling? Read to find out!
1. The Arrival

Title: Millennium Bling  
  
Summary: Yugi & his peeps' go to Harlem for Tea's competition. Has Pegasus really become a pimp? Will Seto go ghetto'? What's up with Bakura & his Millennium Bling'? Read to find out! ^_^  
  
This is my first fic. Be nice. Please R&R. Happy reading! ^_^**  
**  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, any of its characters, any restaurants, any theaters, any rappers, or any songs. If I did, I'd be richer than Kaiba.  
  
Caution/Warning: This story is a direct result of me eating _way _too much sugar. (You probably already knew that.) Anyway, on with the story!  
  


~***~  
  


*Yugi, Joey, Tristan, & Tea walk down the street.*  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Yugi has a Band-Aid on his cheek (like Nelly). Joey's pants are sagging _extremely_ low. Tristan's trench coat is loaded with guns. Tea looks embarrassed & scared at the same time.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Yugi: Well, here we are The Great Harlem Invitational Tournament'. I'm so excited!  
Don't look so frightened, Tea. No one's going to hurt you.   
Tristan: *shoots at random people*  
Tea: Tristan, you can't just go around shooting innocent people. Try putting your energy into something useful.  
*Espa Roba strolls past*  
Espa (singing): ~Rollin' down the street, playin' _Jinzo_, sippin' on gin & juice,_ laid back_, wit my mind on my duelin' and my duelin' on m–  
Tristan: *shoots Espa*  
Tea: OK, that _was _a good use.  
Yugi: It looks like everyone's getting into the theme of this tournament.  
Tea: Everyone except me. I only came here because I received an invitation to sing & dance at the Apollo Theater.  
Tristan:   
Joey:   
Yugi: That's great, Tea! Isn't it, guys?  
Tristan & Joey: º_º;   
Yugi: ¬_¬ Isn't it, guys?  
Tristan & Joey: Oh, uh yeah, sure.  
Tea: Thanks, Yugi.   
*Joey's pants are so loose that they fall off*  
Tea: Joey Wheeler, pull your pants up this instant!  
Joey: Alright, Alri– I mean Aiight, Aiight  
Everyone but Joey: *sweatdrops* -_-;  
Tea: You know, Joey, you're really starting to bug me.  
Yugi: Speaking of bugs, there's Weevil Underwood.  
Joey: *hisses*  
Tristan: That little creep. *pulls out guns*  
Tea: Remember what I said about shooting people.  
Tristan:   
Tea: Just wait. Maybe he has something important to say.  
Weevil: Hey, what are _you_ doing here?  
Yugi: What's it to you? Why don't you mind your own business?  
Joey & Tristan: *start to nod their heads* ~Roll out dun dun da dun roll out dun dun da dun roll out dun dun~  
Yugi (sings): ~Get out my biz' niss, my biz' nasssaid get out my biz' niss, my biz' nass~  
Tea: ª_ª; Kill me now, just kill me now.  
Tristan: *points gun at Tea*  
Tea: O_o Aahhh! NO! It's just an expression! Point that thing at someone else!  
Tristan: Ohhh, OK. *points gun at Weevil*  
Joey: Ya got ten seconds to impress us wit your entertainment skills, Weevil.  
Weevil: O_o *starts hopping around* uh roll out roll–  
Tristan: *shoots Weevil dead* Ha! I busted a cap in yo' ass, Weevil!  
Yugi: Chill, dawg.  
Joey: Hey! That's my nickname, Yug.  
Yugi: Oh yeah, sorry wait a minute, didn't Kaiba & Duke Devlin call you that?  
Joey: Oh yeah. Damn! Now I need a new nickname.  
  


~***~  


  
That's the end of the first chapter. Please review! ^_^


	2. Lil' Kaiba & Ghetto Seto

**Hey, thanks to people who reveiwed! I really appreciate it!**  
- Kimmy Nagasaki: Queen of Games - Thanks! & no, you can't trust him.  
- TheUnlovedOutcast - Thanks for laughing! ooh, armed chibi clones? They will take over the world!  
- Liviania - Thanks, I think the dumbness is what makes people laugh.  
- Bakura's-Gurl - um, ok bye!  
- Metranome - Thanks. Imagine how scared I was when I wrote this.  
- Aeolus the Soul Hunter - cool name Mai actually will be an employee' of Peg's. & Bakura will use slang, foo'.  
- sailorstarlight4 - Thanks! ^_^  
- Vintage Reztles - You recognized the songs? Wow, post your fic anyway - I would read it!  
- AEC - Thank you! ^_^ Hmm Joey singing Eminem interesting  
  
& now the second chapter  
  


~***~  


Tea: Hey, that looks like  
Tristan: Like the Kaiba brothers, but  
Joey: But somethin' ain't right.  
Seto & Mokuba walk down the street.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Seto is wearing a nylon pantyhose leg on his head & a huge platinum dollar sign ($) around his neck. Mokuba has a beanie on his head, which is weighed down by the numerous gold necklaces he's wearing. Picture it. Interesting, eh?  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Seto: What are you chumps doing here?  
Joey: Hey! No name-calling, you bastard!  
Seto: What's this? The dog has learned to speak?  
Tristan: *pulls out guns*  
Seto: º_º  
Tea:   
Tristan: OK, OK.  
Seto: So, why are you here?  
Yugi: We're here for The Great Harlem Invitational Tournament. Isn't that why you're here?  
Seto: Yes, but that's not my only reason.  
Joey: Whadaya mean?  
Seto: I'm a millionaire, right?  
Yugi: Uh, yeah.  
Seto: I made even more money with all my dueling technology, right?  
Joey:   
Seto: But I'm still unsatisfied with all my millions & billions of dollars, right?  
Tristan: Yeah, I guess so.  
Seto: $_$ And I love my moneyso very mu-  
Yugi: Where are you going with this, Kaiba?  
Seto: Well, I was just going to say that I've found my newest goldmine - my little brother Mokuba!  
Yugi: What exactly are you talking about?  
Seto: Let me show you. Introducing Ghetto Seto's' rapping protégé *dramatic pause* Lil' Kaiba'!  
Lil' Kaiba: *starts to rap*   
~I am number one!  
Don't matter if ya' like it - take it, sit down, & write it   
I am number one!~  
Ghetto Seto: ~eh eh eh eh eh eh~  
Lil' Kaiba: ~Now lemme ask ya', man  
What does it take to be number one?  
Two is not a winner & three nobody remembers  
What does it take to be number one?~  
Ghetto Seto: ~eh eh eh eh eh eh~  
Yugi: Wow, Mokuba! You've got skills'. Here, you deserve this. *Takes Band-Aid off his cheek & puts it on Mokuba's*  
Tea: how cute.  
Tristan: Hey, not bad at all.  
Joey: Aiight! Pretty good, lil' dawg.  
Seto: The name's Lil' Kaiba'. You're the dog, Wheeler.  
Tristan: *pulls out guns*  
Tea: Damn it, Tristan!  
Everyone, including Tea: O_o  
Mokuba: _Tea_ said a bad word  
Tea: I I can't believe I just said that.  
Joey: Forget about it! I swear all the time.  
Yugi: We know that, Joey. -_-;  
Mokuba: Help me please help me.  
Yugi: What's wrong? Did Tea hurt your ears? Is Seto forcing you to do this?  
Mokuba: No, it's these damn gold chains! They're killing me.  
Yugi: *takes necklaces off Lil' Kaiba' & gives them to Ghetto Seto' *  
Seto: Sorry, Mokuba, I guess I got carried away with the thug' image. Here, just wear two of them. *hands Mokuba a gold $ and a #1*  
Joey: Isn't Mokuba a little short to be a   
Seto: He's taller than Yugi.  
Yugi: *goes into fit of rage* Darn you, Kaiba! Stop making fun of my height!  
Tea: You're mean, Kaiba! At least Yugi has friends, unlike you.  
*dozens of gang members & fangirls suddenly flock around Seto*  
Seto: ^_^ Ha! See? I have many   
Tea: *severely embarrassed* ^_^; y' know, Mokuba, I'm going to be singing & dancing at the Apollo Theater tonight. Maybe we could perform together.  
Mokuba: Uh, I'm more of a solo performer. Thanks anyway.  
Seto: Sorry to deprive you of your astonishingly talented company, but we have to go. Lil' Kaiba' & I will see you around.  
Everyone:   
  


~***~  



	3. A Meal & Bakura

Wow! Thanks a lot to all reveiwers, especially lostlover1, Vintage Reztles, & Metranome for adding this to their Fav. Stories' list! Yay! ^_^  
  
MarinBlue: Sorry, but Yami didn't want to come on the trip.  
  
christine: thanks - here's the chapter! ^_^  
  
Kimmy Nagasaki: Queen of Games: Thanks! Mokuba says thanks, too.  
  
anime-ruthless: Thank you very much!  
  
?: It's a fun story - it's supposed to be pointless! I can't take credit for the lyrics - they're by Nelly. Sorry you don't like it, but thanks for reveiwing anyway.  
  
lostlover1: Thanks! & Don't worry, I won't make it yaoi.  
  
Darkness Princess: Thanks! I gotz yur update right hurr, capiche?  
  
ILuvJouchan: Cute name Thank you!  
  
Daisy-chan*Mistress of Evil: Nice definition of bling' - notice how the Millennium Ring is also shiny? A rapping match instead of a duel great idea! Thanks! ^_^  
  
Natacha*aka Natasia: Thank you! Lil' Kaiba enjoys rapping.  
  
dark staranime: What does ' mean?  
  
Vintage Reztles: Thank you very much! I appreciate it!  
  
KaibaChick13: Thanks a lot! You're too kind. Here's Bakura's chapter for you  
  
Psycho in a Straitjacket: He he he thanks!  
  
Metranome: It is possible to fool the men in the white suits, trust me. I'm glad you're okies - those stools can be dangerous! Thank you! & wink, wink, nudge, nudge BAKURA'S HERE!  
  
  


~***~  


  
Yugi: Well, I guess we'd better head for the Apollo.  
  
Joey & Tristan: But I'm hungry.  
  
Tea: What's new? ª_ª;  
  
Yugi: Actually, I'm pretty hungry myself. But I don't know my way around here. Where should we eat?  
  
Tristan: I remember a commercial for some hamburger place around here.  
  
  
*~*~flashback~*~*  
  
commercial voice: ~Rally's - Ya gotta eat! Rally's - Ya gotta eat!~   
  
Try our new triple-double-big-ass cheeseburger! Make it a combo meal & we' ll throw in some fries coated in four toxic layers of crude oil! and a Coke.  
  
*~end of flashback~*  
  
  
Joey: *drools enough to fill a swimming pool* Let's go!  
  
*They walk down to Rally's*  
  
Employee: Can I help you?  
  
Joey: You bet! I' ll have two of those triple-double-big-ass combo meals.  
  
Tristan: Make that three.  
  
Employee: Are you sure? Just one of those contains enough food to feed three people.  
  
Joey: Oh. Better make it six, then.  
  
Employee: º_º; *looks at Tea & Yugi* What about you two?  
  
Tea: Just a regular hamburger for me, please.  
  
Yugi: I' ll have the same, thanks.  
  
Employee: OK, your total comes to $4.99.  
  
Joey: *hands over a five* Here, keep the change.  
  
Employee: -_- Aren't we the generous one?  
  
Joey & Tristan: *Scarf down food in 0.01 seconds* Ready to go?  
  
Yugi & Tea: O_o Almost.  
  
*They finish eating & resume walking down the street*  
  
Tristan: Hey, is that Bakura?  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
The only way you would recognize Bakura is by the Millennium Ring around his neck. He is wearing _very_ baggy pants & a hockey jersey. To top it all off, there is a backwards baseball cap placed carefully on his head. Picture it. Scary, huh?  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Bakura: You bet yo' shizzle it izzle! Well, if it isn't the Big Y - double u - gizzle - izzle! (That's Yuugi' for readers who don't translate Snoop Dogg' language.) What up, my nizzle?  
  
Everyone except Bakura: O_o   
  
Bakura: Y'all be aiight?  
  
Yugi: *recovers from shock* We're fine, Bakura. It's just that well umm  
  
Bakura: Ohhh, I know. Y'all ain't never seen me like this befo', right?  
  
Joey: Right. Are you here for the tournament or somethin'?  
  
Bakura: No, I ain't frontin' to be no duelist. I come here every year for the Apollo finals.  
  
Tea: Hey, I'm gonna be singing & danc–  
  
Tristan: *pulls out machine guns*  
  
Yugi: Hey! Calm down, Tristan!  
  
*A large, mean-looking gang steps out of the shadows, with their leader in front*  
  
Gang leader: Yo, kids! What seems to be the trouble?  
  
Yugi: My friend's trying to shoot my other friend.  
  
Tristan: Only because she won't shut up about her frickin' singing & dancing!  
  
Gang leader: Well, that ain't no way to treat your friends, is it? I mean, if you shot your all friends, you wouldn't have any, would you? Friendship is one of the most important things in life. Friendship–  
  
Tristan & Joey:   
  
Gang members: @_@   
  
Bakura: It's a long story.  
  
Gang leader: Oh, I see. Hey, your necklace is off the hook, dawg!  
  
Bakura: *holds up the Millennium Ring* Oh, this? Well, thanks! I like to call it The Millennium Bling'   
  
Yugi: -_-;  
  
Gang leader: Say, you wanna join our gang?  
  
Bakura: *jumps up & down* Really? I'd _love _ to!  
  
Gang members: º_º   
  
Bakura: *attempts to look calm & uninterested* I mean, sure.  
  
Gang members: ^_^  
  
*The gang, its leader, & its new member, Bakura, start to leave*  
  
Yugi: Hey, what about me?  
  
Gang leader: What about you, kid?  
  
Yugi: What do you think about my necklace? *shows him the Millennium Puzzle*  
  
Gang leader: Wow, your chain is tight, too!  
  
Yugi: So I can be in your gang too, right?  
  
Gang leader: Well, not exactly.  
  
Yugi: Why not?  
  
Gang leader: Sorry, kid, but we have a height requirement.  
  
Yugi: *starts foaming at mouth* Darn you! Darn you & your freakin' height requirements!  
  
Bakura: *whistles, slowly takes a few steps back, then runs away*  
  
Gang leader: *simply runs away*  
  
Gang members: *quietly disperse into the shadows*  
  
  


~***~  
  
  
  


Thanks for reading! That's the end of the third chappie. Tell me what you think about it! ^_^


	4. Pegasus the Pimp

**Metranome:** Thank you, Metranome-sama! Ooh, where can I join the church of Malikism? Mmm thanks for the cookie - you have one, too. Bakura had a happy little adventure, yes. Yay! You must convince an art buddy to draw Bakura's picture, & send it to me! That would be awesome! Thanks for reviewing! ^_^  
  
**Selena: **Thank you!  
  
**Daisy-chan*Mistress of Evil: **Thanks! Corruption! Hmm interesting Serenity description. Nice slang, too! Get ready for Pegasus! ^_^  
  
**Liviania: **Thanks for the slang spelling tip!  
  
**Natacha*aka Nastasia: **Did I spell your name right this time? I know how da sugar can be. ^_^ Thanks a lot for your suggizzles! You are quite fluent in Snoop's lingo be proud! I'll e-mizzle you if I use your name translations. Thanks! ^_^  
  
**KaibaChick13: **I forgot to mention cool name! Thank you so much! ^_^  
  
**Mattitude: Version2: **Hey, I'm a Jeff Hardy fan! (& Lita & Matt) Thanks for reviewing!  
  
**Bakura's Girl88: **Thank you! You should upload. The Arena of Lost Homies' sounds hilarious!  
  
  
  


~***~  


  
*Yugi, Joey, Tristan, & Tea continue to walk down the street*  
  
*Pegasus saunters down the street, approaching them.*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Pegasus is wearing a red velvet suit complete with a hat. He is carrying a cane & has a gold $ around his neck. (Are those popular, or what?) To get a mental picture of Pegasus, think _pimp_. That's right, Pegasus the Pimp'. _Very_ scary, isn't it?  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Yugi: Oh, no. Look, guys, it's Pegasus!  
  
Joey: *hisses*   
  
Tristan: *pulls out guns*  
  
Tea: Hey, I'm not a guy! (If you don't get this, look at what Yugi says.)  
  
Tristan & Joey: -_-; Shut up, Tea.  
  
Pegasus (in a wavering, somewhat queer voice): Tea may not be a guy, but _I_ am.  
  
Yugi: Are you sure about that?  
  
Pegasus (in his normal voice wait, that _is _ his normal voice): Oh, Yugi-boy! You are _quite_ the comedian!  
  
Joey: Hey, are you the one that set up this tournament?  
  
Pegasus: No, but I must say, I _am_ enjoying it!  
  
Tristan: *looks at outfit* We noticed.  
  
Pegasus: However, the tournament isn't the only reason I'm wearing this.  
  
Joey: Whadaya mean?  
  
Pegasus: Well, when I was visiting here a while ago, I noticed that some gentlemen were making quite a large sum of money in a certain line of business.  
  
Yugi: What kind of business?  
  
Pegasus: an _adult_ business.  
  
Yugi: Oh, you mean ho's.  
  
Everyone except Yugi: º_º  
  
Pegasus: yeah. Anyway, I also noticed that those businessmen & women were only catering to a portion of customers.  
  
Tristan: What exactly are you talking about?  
  
Pegasus: Well, let's just say that all of the customers happened to be _straight_ men. They were, um, leaving out a certain group of people.  
  
Yugi: Oh, you mean the _gay _ community.  
  
Everyone except Yugi: O_o  
  
Pegasus: yeah. So I decided to start my own escort service for those, uh, guys that like well, other guys. Meet *dramatic pause* 'Pegsy's Playmates'!  
  
*A dozen gay guys jump out of nowhere. They flutter' around Pegasus*  
  
Pegasus: ~Pimp juice~  
  
Pegsy's Playmates: ~Ooooh ooooh hooo~  
  
Pegasus: ~Think I need ta' let it loose let er loose - let er looose~  
  
Joey: *looks sick*  
  
Pegasus: Our slogan is, Don't fear the queer, get over here!'   
  
Joey: *throws up violently*  
  
Pegasus: We're having a special right now. Would any of you be interested?  
  
Tristan: *pulls out nuclear missiles*  
  
Pegasus: OK, I get the point. Guess I' ll be going then. *saunters off into the distance*  
  
Pegsy's Playmates: Toodle-ooo, boys! *skip after Pegasus*  
  
Joey: *recovers from vomiting* That was disgusting!  
  
All:   
  
*Mai struts down the street*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Mai looks somewhat like a ho'. She is wearing what she always wears minus the purple jacket. You know, the white top & the short skirt. Her hair is puffy, yet hard to the touch. Her lipstick is a nice bright red color. (And yes, I do feel like a fashion show announcer by now. Eww.)  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Yugi: Hi, Mai!  
  
Mai: Hey, kiddo!  
  
Yugi: *looks at her clothes or lack of them* Mai, have you become a ho?  
  
Mai: O_o What? No, of course not Well, I was, but not anymore!  
  
Yugi: Oh, good. But then, what are you doing here?  
  
Mai: I'm a drug dealer, hon.  
  
Yugi: Mai! That's illegal!  
  
Mai: I know, but it's the only way I can pay for all my make-up & hair products.  
  
Tea: That's outrageous! I barely spend anything on my hair.  
  
Mai: *looks at Tea* I noticed well, I' ll see you around, then.  
  
Everyone except Tea: ^_^   
  


~***~  
  
  


End of fourth chappie! Sorry it's kinda short. Thanks for reading - please review! ^_^  



	5. The Finals

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed the story! ^_^**  
  
**Liviania: **It was disturbing? Thank you!**  
  
Metranome: **Ooh, thank you! *worships Malik plushie* Yay for Runa-chan! You're right about Pegasus & ecstacy. Thanks for reviewing! ^^**  
  
IluvJouchan: **Thank you!**  
  
Darkness Princess: **Thanks! Now you got Air Force 1s' stuck in my head. Sorry, I couldn't bring myself to make fun of the Egyptian peeps. Good ideas, though. As for Bandit Keith read on.**  
  
Starlight Queen: **Thanks to you & your brother!  
  
**Selena:** Thanks! Yay! Wrongness was my goal. hehehe  
  
**XxAnimeSwtnZzxX:** Thanks! ^_^  
  
**Daisy-chan*Mistress of Evil:** Mai's sorry. I was going to have Joey & Tristan do something when they saw Mai, but that might have corrupted people. Your Dragon Ball Guy' annoucement was perfect! Thanks!  
  
**Black Mistress:** Cool name. Thank you! Thanks to Yami, Marik, & Bakura as well. ^_^ Shake Ya Tailfeathers!'  
  
**KaibaChick13:** Thank you! It's great that you get the pictures. Thanks for the awesome reviews! ^_^  
  
**Demented Marik:** Hehehe like the name. Thanks! Hmm Peg-ass, interesting  
  
**The Legendary Shiniimegami:** That's right!  
  
  
~***~  
  
Yugi: Well, we're almost at the Apollo. Let's get going!  
  
*They walk down the street & enter the Apollo Theater*  
  
Tea: I guess I should go backstage.  
  
Yugi: OK, We' ll sit in the front row.  
  
*Yugi, Joey, & Tristan sit down*  
  
Joey: Hey, pass the popcorn!  
  
Yugi: -_-; It's not that kind of theater, Joey.  
  
Joey: Damn!  
  
Hostess: Baby, baby, have we got a show for you! (If you've ever seen that show, you know what I'm talking about.) First up, baby, we have amateur night, where regular people perform, & you pick the winner, baby! We have three performers tonight!  
  
Yugi: That's what Tea is doing.  
  
Tristan: Here, man. *hands Joey earplugs & puts in his own*  
  
Joey: Oh, thanks a lot! *puts earplugs in*  
  
Tristan:   
  
Joey:   
  
Yugi: Shut up, I want to hear the competition. *slaps them*  
  
Joey & Tristan: ¬_¬  
  
Hostess: Our first guest is a singer. Please welcome Bandit Keith!  
  
Audience: *claps*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
You don't wanna know what he's wearing no, really, you don't trust me! OK, OK, he's wearing tight, bright pink spandex pants & a black fishnet tank top. Picture it. Disgusting, no?  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Bandit Keith: ~I believe I can fly  
I believe I can touch the sky  
I think about it every night & day  
Spread my wings & fly away  
I believe I can soar  
I see me runnin' through that open dooor  
I believe I can flyyyyy~  
  
Audience: *half applause/half boos*  
  
Hostess: Our second performers are rappers. Please welcome the Kaiba brothers Ghetto Seto' & Lil' Kaiba'!  
  
Audience: claps  
  
Ghetto Seto: ~It's Seto in the place wit Kaiba  
& I got what it takes to roc the mic right, yeaah  
you better watch what you say around herre  
cuz there's somethin' on my waist to make the whole place burn~  
  
Lil' Kaiba: ~It's Kaiba in the place wit Seto  
& I got what it takes to roc the mic right, yeaah  
you better watch what you say to my face  
cuz' I got what it takes to shake the whole place~  
  
Audience: *claps, whistles, screams*  
  
Hostess: Our last performer will be singing & dancing. Please welcome Tea Gardner!  
  
Audience: *claps*  
  
Tea: ~Why can't we be friends?  
Why can't we be friends?~  
  
Audience:   
  
Yugi: I've gotta do something, quick! *stands up & starts yelling*  
~It's gettin' hot in herre  
So take off all your clothes~  
  
Audience:   
  
Hostess: O_o Alright, let's bring all our performers back on stage. Cheer the loudest for the person you want to win. Ready, baby?  
  
Audience: Oh yeaah!  
  
Hostess: Give it up for Bandit Keith!  
  
Audience: *applause*  
  
Hostess: How the Kaiba brothers!  
  
Audience: *claps, whistles, screams*  
  
Hostess: Tea Gardner!  
  
Audience: *dead silence, except for two or three boos*  
  
Yugi: *jumps up & claps loudly* Whoo hoo! Go, Tea!!  
  
Audience: º_º;  
  
Yugi: Heh heh *sits down*  
  
Hostess: Okay, baby, tonight's winners are the Kaiba brothers! They will come back next week to defend their title.  
  
Audience: *cheers*  
  
Tristan & Joey: *remove earplugs*  
  
*Yugi, Joey, Tristan, & Tea walk out of the Apollo*  
  
Tea: **;_; ***starts to cry*  
**  
**Yugi: It's okay, Tea, not everyone gets their big break right away.  
  
Joey: Yeah, & some people don't even get one.  
  
Yugi: ¬_¬ *tries to cover Joey's mouth but can't reach* If you keep working at it, you' ll be a great singer some day.  
  
Tristan: Or you could just stick to dancing.  
  
Yugi: ¬_¬ *doesn't even attempt to cover Tristan's mouth* You did your best, Tea. _We_ are proud of you.  
  
Tea: Really? Thanks, guys. I'm so lucky to have friends like you. Friends that care about me. Friends that–  
  
Yugi: Uh, it's been a long day. Let's go back to the hotel & rest.  
  
All:   
  
~***~  
  
  
End of story. Thanks for reading!  
  
Goddess of Dragons: I made people laugh! Yay! *dances around happily trips, falls, crashes through wall*  
  
Thanks to everyone who reviewed this story! I really appreciate it!   
Would you like me to write something new? Any ideas/suggestions?  
  
**Please review! ^_^**


	6. The Sacred Mints of Paradise

Yay! Thanks to all reviewers! You peeps' forced me to continue hope you enjoy! ^_^**  
  
**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
**  
TheUnlovedOutcast: **Hello! Are your eyes okay? Hehe sorry about the frightening image. ^^**  
  
Zoe-San: **Thank you! Hmm Yamis heh heh. I'll read your ficciez soon! **  
  
WutKindOfNameIsThis: **Exactly what kind of name is that, anyway? Thank you very much! To answer your questions: 1) They don't cuss very much because they haven't adapted to the ghetto yet. 2) hon' is pronounced hun' & it's short for honey'. Thanks for the cookie & the head pat. ^_^**  
  
XxAnimeSwtnZzxX: **Thank You! ^_^**  
  
Chaos and Yami Chaos77: **Thanks for reviewing & putting this on your faves list!**  
  
Daisy-chan*Mistress of Evil: **Goddess of Dragons: Thanks for reviewing!  
Joey & Tristan: No! Stop!! Okay, Okay We're sorry. -_-  
**  
Metranome: **Thanks for the suggestions; I'll throw in some Egyptians. Ooh, blackmail = fun! ^^**  
  
Black Mistress: **hehehe Thanks for reviewing! ^_^**  
  
Liviania: **Yes, Tea needs anti-friendship therapy.**  
  
Air Ishtar: **Thanks! ^_^  
  
**Darkness Princess: **Thank you! Tea was going to dance, but she didn't get a chance. Hey, that rhymed. *easily amused*  
  
**IluvJouchan: **Thank you! Don't worry, I'm crazy too! :) Thanks, Akibabbit.  
  
**luvRyou: **Thanks! You drew a picture? I want to see!  
  
**Natacha*aka Nastasia: **Thank yiz' for the revizzle. Here's the continuation. Smooches.  
  
**SaSaMi7: **Thanks!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
  
~***~  
  
  
Yugi, Joey, Tristan, & Tea walk to their hotel, which was paid for by the Apollo. They were supposed to get two luxury suites, but the suites are occupied by Ghetto Seto, Mokuba, & swarms of fangirls. The last luxury room is taken by Bandit Keith & his crowd of um how do I put this? Well, his err, fanboys.  
  
Yugi: there's no rooms under the name Tea Gardner?  
  
Hotel Manager: Nope. Did you make reservations?  
  
Tea: No. You see, I was told that the Apollo Theater was going to take care of our rooms.  
  
Hotel Manager: Ugh, not again *heavy sigh* Did you win, by any chance?  
  
Tea: Well, no but I was still supposed to get a room wasn't I?  
  
Hotel Manager: Sorry, but only the winner receives a free room.  
  
Yugi: Then why does Bandit Keith have a room?  
  
Hotel Manager: The fanboys paid for it. Would you like me to ask them if they would pay for you, too?  
  
Tristan: O_o NO! I mean, no, that won't be necessary.  
  
Hotel Manager: Well then, it seems you'll have to find another place to stay.  
  
Joey: What?!? That's ridiculous!  
  
Hotel Manager: *in an annoying, whiny voice* Well, I'm sorry, sir, but there's no suites here for any of you.  
  
Tristan: Are you sure?  
  
Hotel Manager: *sigh* Yes, I'm sure. They were both taken by a Mr. Kaiba.  
  
Joey: hisss  
  
Hotel Manager: O_o It seems your dog needs a rabies shot.  
  
Joey: *jumps over counter & bites the manager*  
  
Hotel Manager: AHHH! Back! BACK! Security!!  
  
Five big guys in bulletproof vests bust down the door, ready for action. When they see what's going on, a look of disappointment flashes across their faces. One of them throws a spare shoe at Joey. (Where it came from, no one knows. Perhaps off his foot.) Anyway, the shoe hits Joey on the shoulder.  
  
Joey: Oww! What the hell are ya doin'?!  
  
Tristan: *pulls out guns, aims*  
  
Tea: NO-O-O-O *jumps across the lobby in slow motion, reaching her arms out towards the gun*  
  
Just before Tristan pulls the trigger, Tea knocks the gun out of his hand.  
  
Yugi & Joey: @_@  
  
Security Guy: *in shock* Th-that girl just s-s-saved m-my life!  
  
Tristan: Not really.  
  
Tea: ª-ª What do you mean? Of course I did!  
  
Tristan: No you didn't. I ran out of ammo, so those guns were empty. I just wanted to see if you would really go that far & you did! With the slow mo. & everything!  
  
He then proceeded to laugh. But this was no ordinary snicker. No, this was an evil cackle, usually something that only the great Malik was capable of. Tristan's laughter had been empowered by something fantastic: Tea making an ass out of herself.  
  
Security Guy: O_o Oh well, it's the thought that counts. *looks at Tristan* I'll be leaving now. *runs away*  
  
Joey: @_@ *shakes head* What the hell just happened?  
  
Yugi: I don't know, Joey, I just don't know.  
  
Tea: I'll tell you what happened. Tristan wanted to see me humiliate myself again! As if the Apollo wasn't bad enough. *starts to cry*  
  
Joey: No, it was pretty bad.  
  
Yugi: ¬_¬   
  
Joey: What? Don't blame me! This all started with that stupid manager.  
  
Yugi: I suppose you're right *A look of profoundness swept across his face.*  
  
Prepare to witness a spectacle, the likes of which you have never see– actually, you've probably seen it many times. Anyway, a high-pitched woman's voice begins to wail in the background   
  
Tristan: *pulls out earplugs*  
  
A blinding golden light blazes across the room then it flashes the other way then it swirls around the room, doing a strange little dance, one formerly only known to privileged members of certain jungle tribes then–  
  
Joey: Alright! Enough with the freakin' lights!  
  
Okay, okay it finally settles behind Yugi's head, where it glows for 1.7 seconds. Yugi spins around & slowly opens his eyes  
  
Yugi: Whoo hoo! I grew two whole feet!  
  
Yami: -_-; What an entrance.  
  
Yugi: couldn't I have handled the hotel management problem by myself?  
  
Yami: Ha! Yugi you do not know these strange race of people who call themselves hotel managers'. You are inexperienced in their one-sided dealings. Not to mention their secret communication code.  
  
All except Yami:   
  
Yami: For example, when you reach for a mint from the little bowl on the counter if they pull the bowl away, it means they distrust & dislike you.  
  
Joey: -_-' Sure it does *reaches for a mint*  
  
Hotel Manager: *hops up & seizes bowl*  
  
Joey: O_o Hey, gimme that!  
  
Hotel Manager: Never! Never shall you have the sacred mints of paradise!  
  
Joey: *lets go of bowl & grabs a mint*  
  
Hotel Manager: NOOO! *turns to Yami* how did you find our secrets?  
  
Yami: Oh, I have my sources.  
  
Far away, on a remote island, an especially alert squirrel stood up at that very moment. He knew then that his life's work was complete. Now the squirrel could sit back & enjoy the rest of his days in peace, knowing that he, & only he, had decoded the Hotel Management's Secret Code.  
Not only had he discovered the long-forgotten language, he had used his knowledge to help a pharaoh, a deed that would be well rewarded in the future. Squirrel or not, this was definitely something to be proud of. He climbed into a nearby tree & enjoyed the remains of a shredded coconut. Ahh, the life of luxury.  
  
  
~***~  
  
  
  
End of 6th chappie! Well, that was amusing. Let me know what you think. Any suggestions are appreciated. Thanks for reading & please review! ^_^  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. A Trash Can of Hot Sauce

~*~*~*~*~*~*~***  
  
loismustDIE666: **Thanks! Keep your sugar level high!**  
  
Black Mistress: **Thanks! Enjoy the Mints!**  
  
Liviania: **Yay! Squirrels rule!**  
  
Zoe-San: **Thank you!**  
  
XxAnimeSwtnZzxX: **Thank you! Sacred Mints!**  
  
christine: **Thanks! ¬_¬ – The Shifty Eyes'**  
  
A girl and her muses: **Scary & good? Wow, thanks!**  
  
Black Velvet Princess: **Thanks!**  
  
Darkness Princess: **GoD: Thanks, I brought some rope to tie Marik to the tree!  
Marik: *glares* Whatever I'll get my revenge sooner or later.  
GoD: *glares back* I also brought a penguin suit for him  
Marik: NO! Anything but that! Ahhh!**  
  
PsychoSisters: **Thanks! So you are the undercover squirrel. Can I have an orange bendy straw? ^^**  
  
DigiQueen-Sinceramon: **Thank you very much. I'll read your story soon!**  
  
TheUnlovedOutcast: **Ooh, thanks for the mints & the review! Squirrely dude says thanks, too!**  
  
SaSaMi7: **Thank you! Of course you're in the fic. Don't worry about your homework - I'll tell Bakura to go burn your school down! ^_~**  
  
AkiBabbit: **Thanks!The squirrel takes his language-decoding very seriously. ^_^**  
  
Indygo: **Thanks! Your school sounds scary. -_-;  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
**These symbols: ~ ~ ~ mean that someone is singing.  
**  
  
* Thanks to **WutKindOfNameIsThis**' for the soup question idea! ^_^  
  
  
* Thanks to **AkiBabbit**' for the Get Low remix!  
  
Joey: You mean I have to sing that song?  
  
Goddess of Dragons: It involves food  
  
Joey: ^_^  
  
GoD: Now to the story  
  
  
~***~  
  
  
Even though they pleaded, Yugi, Tea, & Tristan could not get a room in the dispicable Holiday Inn. They might have been able to if Joey would apologize for biting the manager, but Joey was a proud, stubborn young man, so he refused to do this.   
  
The hotel manager took one look at the large hole in his coat and sent them away. Not even the all-powerful Yami could compete with the wrath of an upset hotel manager, so they shoved the door open and stepped outside.  
  
The Kaibas, however, were still occupying the suite. They happened to be on the balcony at that very moment, so they saw Yugi and his friends walking down the street.  
  
Seto: Ha ha ha! Look at poor little Yugi!  
  
Mokuba: That's more sad than funny, Seto.   
  
Seto did not think it was sad at all. He had finally beaten his rival well, his rival's friend, actually. It wasn't really a duel, either Oh well, he could sing a lot better than Tea and that's all he cared about. Seto decided to play a little trick on Yugi & his idiotic friends.  
  
Seto: Get ready to sing, Mokuba. ^_~ *shouts down the street* Hey, Yugi!  
  
Yugi:   
  
Mokuba: Ghetto Seto has something to tell you!  
  
Yugi: What's that?  
  
Seto: ~ We be chillin' at the Holidayiiiiin! ~  
  
Mokuba: ~ What you gon' do? ~  
  
Seto: ~ Me & my peeps want you bring two of yo' friends! ~  
  
Yugi: -_-  
  
Seto: Ha ha ha! ^_^  
  
Joey: Damn you, Kaiba! Damn you and your clever songs!  
  
Tristan: more ammo.  
  
Seto:   
  
*Yugi and his friends turn to leave.*  
  
Seto: Wait, Yugi!  
  
Yugi: What do you want now?  
  
Seto: Well, Lil' Kaiba and I were going to leave right now, if you still wanted the room.  
  
Yugi: *runs toward the hotel* Really? You mean it?  
  
Yami: Be careful, Yugi! This may be a trap.  
  
Yugi: *stops in front of the hotel* How the hell do you know if it's a trap?!? HUH? You think everything's a trap, Yami! Why do you always think the worst of people? What if Kaiba just wants to be nice, huh? What then?!?  
  
Yami: O_o just trying to help *faints*  
  
Joey: C'mon, Yug, you're dealin' wit Kaiba. Ya think he's gonna be nice to ya?  
  
Tea: *becomes starry-eyed* Kaiba, do you really want to be our friend?!? ^_^  
  
Seto: AAHHH! Get it away! Get that friendship-obssessed thing away from me! *shrieks and runs into wall*  
  
Tristan: Poor guy. I know what he's going through.  
  
Tea:   
  
Tristan: Heh heh Did I say that out loud?  
  
Tea: Hmpf! I don't know why I hang around with you guys.  
  
Joey: Neither do I.  
  
Yugi: ¬_¬ New subject *turns to Yami, who is on the ground* I'm sorry, Yami.  
  
Yami: *regains consciousness* That's okay, Yugi. I just want to keep you safe.  
  
Yugi: *hugs Yami* I know I appreciate it. I didn't mean to yell at you - I was just frustrated. Can you forgive me?  
  
Yami: Of course, Yugi. I'll always be–  
  
Tristan: Are you two done yet?  
  
Joey: *throws up quietly*  
  
Yugi: *looks around sheepishly* You people just don't understand!  
  
Tea: I do! Group hug! ^_^ *glomps Yugi & Yami* (Joey & Tristan duck out of the way just in time)  
  
Joey: Whew! That was close!  
  
Tristan: Too close.  
  
Yugi: *turns blue* a little HELP?!  
  
Joey: I'm hungry.  
  
Tea: *lets go of Yugi & Yami*   
  
Tristan: We haven't eaten for a while. I'm hungry, too.  
  
Yugi: Hey, let's go to that chicken place on the corner.  
  
*They walk down to Popeye's Fried Chicken'.*  
  
Joey: All right!  
  
Employee: What can I get for you?  
  
Joey:   
  
Employee: @_@ W-what kind of f-food?  
  
Tea: I'll have a chicken combo plate, please.  
  
Yami: *points to himself & Yugi* We'll both have that, too.  
  
Yugi: Ooh, can we share a drink with two straws? Huh, Yami? Can we?  
  
Yami: -_-; Sure, Yugi.  
  
Joey: *attempts to vomit, but there's nothing left in his stomach*  
  
Employee: O_o what about you guys?  
  
Tristan: I'll have the ten-piece chicken bucket! ^_^  
  
Yugi & Tea: O_o  
  
Joey: *stares at menu* Decisions, decisions  
  
Employee: Perhaps you'd like to try our new super spicy special?  
  
Joey: What's that?  
  
Employee: It's a trash can filled to the brim with chicken, which is covered in the spiciest hot sauce ever created. Actually, this infamous hot sauce was almost used as a biological weapon in a recent war; that's how spicy it is!  
  
Joey: I'll believe it when I taste it. I just don't know  
  
Tristan: Are you afraid it'll be too hot?  
  
Tea: Is it too much food for you?  
  
Joey: I just want to be sure the trash can is sanitary.  
  
Employee: Of course it is. It's never been used. ^^  
  
Joey: Alright, I'll take it!  
  
*They take their food and find a table*  
  
Joey: *takes lid off trash can & drools* Hey, wait a minute. THERE'S NO HOT SAUCE IN HERE!  
  
Everyone but Joey: @_@  
  
Joey: *walks up to the counter, dragging his trash can along* This is unacceptable! What the hell is wrong with you people?!? I WANT MY HOT SAUCE, DAMN IT!  
  
Employee: @_@ I'm s-sorry, sir. I'll go g-get it right away!  
  
Joey: ~ To the windooooows!  
To the kitchen!  
Put some hot sauce on my chicken! ~  
  
Tristan: ~ Oooh, yo' breath is kickin'! ~  
  
Joey: ~ To all Tic Tacs: get back, get back!  
To all Tic Tacs: get back! ~  
  
Yami: ~Give him some Tic Tacs tacs tacs tacs!  
Give him some Tic Tic Tacs! ~  
  
Tea: O_o   
  
Yami: Heh heh what? It's a catchy song!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Meanwhile, at the Kaiba mansion  
  
Mokuba: Seto, can I ask you a question?  
  
Seto: Sure, Mokuba.  
  
Mokuba: Why did you taunt Yugi today?  
  
Seto: uh he deserved it!  
  
Mokuba: How come you don't like Yugi, big brother?  
  
Seto: How come? Well I I'll tell you later.  
  
Mokuba: Seto, do you eat soup or drink it?  
  
Seto: Enough of these ridiculous questions! Go to bed, Mokuba.  
  
*Mokuba goes to his room and falls asleep.*  
  
Seto felt bad about not answering Mokuba's questions. He wanted to make it up to his little brother, so he decided to answer the most important question of all.  
  
Seto: Wake up, Mokuba! I I need to tell you something.  
  
Mokuba: What, big brother?  
  
Seto: About your question Well, both, Mokuba.  
  
Mokuba: Huh? You mean both my questions?  
  
Seto: No, no! About the soup! You do both - first you eat the solid stuff, then you drink the broth.  
  
Mokuba: -_-; Oh. Thanks, Seto.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Back at Popeye's  
  
Employee: Here's your hot sauce! O_o  
  
Joey: ^_^ Thank you!  
  
*Everyone finishes their food.*  
  
Yugi: That was good! Now I need some dessert.  
  
Joey: *reaches for some candies in a tray on the counter*  
  
Employee: *snatches tray & scurries away*  
  
Joey: DAMN YOU!  
  
  
~***~  
  
  
End of Chappie 7. Thanks for reading! Please review! ^_^


	8. The Plans of Pegasus Disturb Duke

**Mattitude: Version2: **Thank you! GiggleSpazmz125 gave me the hot sauce song idea. I like your idea - it's really funny & I'll use it soon. BTW, here's a message for Cena: When ya gonna realize that you just can't rap? When you're on the mic, people close their eyes to take a nap! ^^**  
  
PsychoSisters: **Yay! I get a bendy straw! Thanks. How about blue no, orange I can't make up my mind - you decide! Good luck at Popeyes!**  
  
Phoenix87: **Thank you very much! Scary images are fun!**  
  
GiggleSpazmz125: **Thank you! Yes, the best success is randomness! Nice rhyming skillz! ^_^**  
  
Darkness Princess: **Thanks! Heh heh a fire-breathing penguin tied to a tree? Mwahaha! Here's some spare chicken for Joey & Marik. I do happen to have a hammer that goes *shing!* when you hit it, but only if you bash Yami. If you hit Yugi, it will go *shong!***  
  
Daisy-chan*Mistress of Evil: **I remember that voice! It was creepy. O_o What happened to Tristan? Oh well, he had it coming. Thanks for reviewing! ^^**  
  
General Dredge: **Thank you!**  
  
DigiQueen-Sinceramon: **Thanks!**  
  
SaSaMi7: **Thanks! What if Seto was a fox & Mokuba was a flying squirrel? *demented laughter* ^^**  
  
Ala: **Thank you!**  
  
TheUnlovedOutcast: **Right! Joey says thanks. ^_^  
  
  
  
~***~  
  
Yami, Yugi, Tea, & Tristan had enjoyed their meals of fried chicken. Joey's experience with the restaurant had been well, less than satisfactory. After consuming an entire trash can full of hot sauce, he had damaged certain tongue nerves and taste buds. Oh well, knowing him, they would probably just grow back in a few days. After pouring a gallon of water down Joey's throat, Yugi and the gang decided to take a walk.  
  
Yugi: I wonder why that guy pulled the candies away from Joey.  
  
Tristan: Probably because he distrusted and disliked him.  
  
Tea: That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!  
  
Yami: No, Tea. Tristan may be right.  
  
Tea: Oh! Well, if Yami thinks so  
  
Joey: -_-;  
  
Yami: I'm afraid I never knew that hotel managers and fast food employees shared the same body language.  
  
Yugi: Maybe it's just a coincidence.  
  
Yami: No. I should have known!  
  
Yugi: It's not a big deal, Yami.  
  
Yami: It is to me! I will have my revenge on them! *stares into sky* You crafty cross-communicating bastards! You think you can get away with this? Do you?!? JUST WAIT! I'm coming for you!!!  
  
Everyone: @_@  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Meanwhile, on a remote desert isle a little one off the coast of Duelist's Kingdom the one shaped like a marshmallow Anyway, on this island, a certain content squirrel jumped out of his mini-hammock. He was surprised. Why? Well, the squirrel had just received a telepathic message from Yami.  
  
Yes, that was one of the many perks of being Pharaoh you could mentally communicate with small, furry animals. Now you know why Marik wants to have the Pharaoh's power so badly.  
  
The squirrel sighed. I was so close,' he thought. Then he slipped on his infrared goggles and strapped a spy camera onto his back. With a glance of determination, he scurried off to the shore. I will crack their code,' he thought, if it's the last thing I do!'  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
At that very moment, in the glorious Harlem mansion of Pegasus, the doorbell rang. This was no ordinary bell. No, it was very odd indeed. When pressed, there was no bell sound. Instead, a rather silly, high-pitched voice yelled: Fun-NEEE Bun-NEEE! Well, what did you expect? It is Pegasus, after all.  
  
Pegasus: Croquet, get the door!  
  
Croquet: Yes, sir. *turns to Kemo* Get the door.  
  
Kemo: *lifts hand to doorknob* Wait, who do ya think it's gonna be?  
  
Doorbell: Fun-NEEE Bun-NEEE!  
  
Croquet: I don't know.  
  
Kemo: Just guess.  
  
Doorbell: Fun-NEEE Bun-NEEE!  
  
Croquet: Okay. Hmm uh, the Big Five.  
  
Kemo: Good guess. I'll say Kaiba.  
  
Pegasus: _ Would you just open the damn door already!?!  
  
Kemo: º–º Sorry, sir. *opens door*  
  
Pegasus: so nice to see you Dukie-boy!  
  
Duke Devlin: ^_^ Hi, Pegasus! You're great!  
  
Pegasus: Yes, I know. Now, did you want to talk about Dungeon Dice Monsters, hmmm?  
  
Duke: Yeah! You read my mind.  
  
Pegasus: *odd laughter* Yes, yes, I did.  
  
Duke: o_o   
  
Pegasus: Well, back to business. I'm afraid I can't fund Dungeon Dice Monsters anymore.  
  
Duke: ;_; but why?  
  
Pegasus: Well, I'm broke. You see, I spent all my Duel Monsters income a long time ago and my other business has failed.  
  
Duke: Other business?  
  
Pegasus: Yes, you know the gay prostitutes?  
  
Duke: @_@   
  
Pegasus: Oh, guess I didn't tell you. Well, all my employees went running off to go perform on broadway. Duke, you alone can help me. Want to be one of Pegsy's Playmates?  
  
Duke: O_O   
  
Pegasus: Let me explain with a delightful little song  
  
Duke:   
  
Pegasus: ~ I don't know what you heard about me  
but you can't rip my eyeball outta me  
I gotz to read my Funny Bun-ny  
Cuz I'm a Mil-len-ni-um P-I-M-P! ~  
  
Duke: -_-   
  
Pegasus: You could be Funny Bunny of the Year!  
  
Duke: º_º   
  
Pegasus: Oh, you know, like a gay playboy bunny. It'll be so much fun!  
  
Duke: I I have to go now. *runs away at a frightening speed*  
  
Pegasus: *turns to Croquet and Kemo* Well, you know what this means  
  
Croquet & Kemo: Right, sir. *begin to put on tight bunny costumes*  
  
~***~  
  
  
End of short chappie 8! There will be a longer one soon! Please review! ^_^  
  
  



	9. The Horror of Adult Diapers

Wheee! Thanks to all reviewers! There are now over a hundred reviews for this story! YAY!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
**GiggleSpazmz125: **Thank you! Yay! I'll be reading your new chappie & ficcie! ^_^  
  
**Ala: **Thanks! AHH! the images *grabs spork & attempts to chop off typing fingers*  
  
**laDy SaSaMi7: **Congrats on your new name! And yes, the squirrel's name can be Fred. ^_^  
  
**Daisy-chan*Mistress of Evil: **Hee hee - I love the squirrels' native language! CHIKI CHI! ^^ Thanks for the slang, too!  
  
**General Dredge: **Quite right!  
  
**Natacha*aka Nastasia: **Yay! I'm glad your compizzle is now free of probizzles. You're not the only one who thinks Pegsy's a tad queer. Thanks for the revizzle!  
  
**PsychoSisters: **Thanks for the orange bendy straw! And of course you can be a language-decoding squirrelie! ^_^  
  
**GraveRobbers Aman: **Goddess of Dragons: Grave robbers? Cool! ^^ Thank you! And don't deny it, Bakura, you know you love being ghetto!  
Bakura: -_- Just because I call my necklace The Millennium Bling' ¬_¬  
  
**XxAnimeSwtnZzxX: **Thank you very much! ^_^ karaoke night, hmm? That gives me ideas heh heh!  
  
**Liviania: **Yes, Duke. Run away, & never come back! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
**Author's Note:** Okay, thanks to my insane, squirrel-obsessed reviewers, (That's a compliment!) the secret language-decoding squirrel department has some announcements:  
  
1. The aforementioned nameless squirrel shall now be known as Fred!  
  
2. There is a new agent called Psychotic Chibi Usa! She has the latest in squirrel-jetpack technology.  
  
3. Rumors say that Chiriki, a famous dueling squirrel, might be capable of defeating the all-powerful Yami.  
  
The not-so-secret-anymore language-decoding squirrel department thanks you for reading this bulletin. Enjoy the story!  
  
  
~***~  
  
  
Duke Devlin was terrified after meeting Pegasus and discussing business' with him. He didn't stop running until he was miles away from the mansion. When Duke decided that he was finally out of the reach of that eloquent madman, he collapsed upon the street the very street Yugi and his crew were walking on.  
  
Duke: Why, Pegasus?!? WHY? Why did you have to become so gay?  
  
Yugi: Maybe he's not really gay, Duke.  
  
Yami: ¬_¬ Yeah, maybe he's just heterosexually challenged  
  
Joey:   
  
Tea: Never mind, Joey.  
  
Joey: But I wanna know!  
  
Yugi: It's just the politically correct way to say   
  
Joey: wait what?  
  
Everyone but Joey: -_-; *sweatdrops*  
  
Duke: Maybe you're right, Yugi. Or maybe he really is gay. I don't care! I just wish that I didn't have to come to that conclusion myself!  
  
Tristan: I thought we established that a long time ago.  
  
Duke: I didn't wait a minute how did you find out?  
  
Tristan: Uh, I well Hey, look!  
  
Everyone:   
  
Joey: AHHH! It's a gang! of old people!  
  
Suddenly, as if from nowhere– well, actually as if from the nursing homes of hell, came the most vicious-looking senior citizens the world has ever seen. well, maybe not vicious, but disturbingly frightening. There were about a dozen, or whatever number is appropriate for motorcycle gangs. Only these seniors did not ride bikes– they were too mature' for that. (not to mention fragile) No, they were riding on the infamous motorized carts!  
  
Yugi: Help, Yami! Help! Pick me up or they might bite me!  
  
Yami: -_-;  
  
Old lady: hello there, young man!  
  
Yugi: AHHH! It's talking to me!  
  
Old man: Ha ha. Don't worry we won't hurt you if you don't hurt us.  
  
Tristan: Oh, really? How exactly could you hurt us?  
  
Old man: Actually, I'm trained in boxing, karate, kung fu, tai bo, tae kwon do and pilates.  
  
Tristan: O_O nice. *hides behind Duke & Joey*  
  
Joey: Whadaya want from us?  
  
Old man: Well, we thought you kids were the volunteers for today! Y'know, to help out at the nursing home.  
  
Joey: What?!? We didn't sign up for anything!  
  
Old lady: *senior puppy eyes* Oh, we're sorry to bother you, then. I suppose it's only wishful thinking it's just that they treat us so badly there. I thought you were little angels - a gift from God I thought you were going to lift us out of that pit of despair give us a reason to live! I guess I was wrong  
  
Yugi & friends: ;_; We're sorry  
  
Old lady: It's okay. We'll leave now.  
  
Yugi: No! It's not okay. We're coming with you!  
  
Senior gang: ^_^   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Meanwhile, in an Egyptian underground lair  
  
Hey, that fried sand salad was really good.  
  
You liked it? I made it using the same ingredients as sand soup.  
  
Yummy. Well, what should we watch while we eat our delicious sand ice cream?  
  
How about Millennium Eye For the Queer Guy'?  
  
That show's been canceled.  
  
  
  
It seems the producer went broke.  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
*Uh, sorry, wrong lair anyway *  
  
In this particular underground lair, Odion was trying to decipher the tattoos on Marik's back  
  
Marik: Tell me, Odion, what do you see?  
  
Odion: Well, the hieroglyphics are very ancient. I don't think I can read them.  
  
Marik: Damn! Oh, well what about the pictures?  
  
Odion: I see the three Egyptian God Monsters.  
  
Marik:   
  
Odion: And there's the Pharaoh's Millennium Puzzle!  
  
Marik: Anything else?  
  
Odion: wait yes, I see it now! oh, dear Ra!  
  
Marik: What is it?!?  
  
Odion: uh, it's a squirrel, master  
  
Marik:   
  
Odion: You mean you knew?!?  
  
Marik: Of course I knew! We do have mirrors in Egypt, you know!  
  
Odion: right but what does it mean?  
  
Marik: It means that once I have the three Egyptian God Cards and the Millennium Puzzle, I will have the Pharaoh's power! And do you know what that means, Odion?  
  
Odion: Not exactly  
  
Marik: It means I will finally have what rightfully belongs to me the power to communicate with small, furry animals! SUCH AS SQUIRRELS! Mwahahahahahaha!  
  
Odion: O_o  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
At the same moment that Marik was finishing up his maniacal laughter, Yugi and his friends had reached the old folks' home. It was a menacing place indeed - it looked like a used trash can. (They were very messy seniors.) It smelled of ancient ruins those were the residents themselves.  
  
And, horror of horrors, in a dark, damp corner of the lobby, there was a small box. The contents of this box struck fear into the bravest of hearts. One look at the box itself would send the most courageous souls fleeing. This box contained the deepest, darkest, worst nightmares of every human being on the planet. For this was a box of adult diapers.  
  
Luckily, though, no one noticed it. They were safe for now.  
  
Yugi: Well, here we are.  
  
Joey: ¬_¬ thanks a lot, Yug.  
  
Yugi: What, Joey?!? Are you too good to help senior citizens? HUH? What about my grandpa, Joey? Would you be happy if Pegasus had just kept his soul? Then maybe old people wouldn't bother you so much, hmm? WOULD YOU BE HAPPY THEN?!?  
  
Everyone except Yugi: @_@  
  
Yami: You really need to lay off the sugar, hikari  
  
Old man: So, are you kids ready to help?  
  
Everyone: YES! Right away!  
  
Yugi: ^_^  
  
Old Lady: Well, we need someone to go make snacks for all of us. Any volunteers?  
  
Joey: Snacks? I'll go!  
  
Tea & Duke: -_-; We'll go, too.  
  
Old lady: Wonderful! The kitchen's that way. *points*  
  
Joey: *runs to kitchen* To the windooows to the kitchen!  
  
Old people: *stare blink stare*  
  
Joey: Jeez, look at all these old people. Part of me wishes Pegasus were here to take them away.  
  
Duke: Pegasus?!? WHERE? don't scare me like that!  
  
Twenty minutes later, Yugi steps into the kitchen and finds a confused Joey, a frustrated Tea, and an annoyed Duke  
  
Yugi: What's wrong?  
  
Tea: _ We're trying to teach Joey how to cook.  
  
Joey: *_* I just don't get it!  
  
Yugi: maybe I can help.  
  
Duke: It's worth a try.  
  
Yugi: It's like this, Joey. I play elbow macaroni in attack mode!  
  
Joey: O_o   
  
Yugi: Think of it like dueling. I use the magic card cheese' & add it to my monster, macaroni', raising its attack points by 500.  
  
Joey: Ohhh mac n' cheese, right?  
  
Yugi: That's right, Joey!  
  
Joey: I think I get it! Wow, thanks, Yug!  
  
Yugi: ^_^   
  
Duke: -_-;  
  
  
~***~  
  
  
End of chappie 9! Thanks for reading! Did ya like it? Please review! ^_^  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	10. A Fireplace of Fun

Yay! I've finally returned to this fic sorry the update took so long. Hope you enjoy! ^_^  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~***  
  
Mattitude: Version2: **Thanks to you & Red Eyes! ^^**  
  
Liviania: **Yes, evil indeed!**  
  
Daisy-chan*Mistress of Evil: **Hey, thanks for the little incantation thing! I was afraid those evil things were going to attack soon. 0_0 Go, Chiriki!**  
  
Darkness Princess: **You brought them all to the shadow realm for me? Well, thank you! I've got to get a new mallet from Kaiba Corp. Heh heh this is going to be fun!**  
  
Ookami-Arashi: **Thank you! ^_^**  
  
Black Mistress: **Thanks to you, Bakura, Yami, & Marik for your version of the song! The squirrels now give you a new title: Mistress of Typos'. ^^; Thanks for reviewing! ^_^**  
  
Kay-Kay&Mechelle: **Peace, peeps! Thank you! ^_^**  
  
Life's Light/anime*angel: **Goddess of Dragons:Thank you very much!  
Fred: Thanks for petting me! ^^**  
  
lostlover1: **Thanks for the review & the good luck! ;)**  
  
Kimmy Nagasaki:Queen of Games: **Thank you!**  
  
Chaos and Yami Chaos77: **Thanks for all the awesome reviews!**  
  
Dreamergirl: ***blink* Wow I think you had a tad too much sugar just a tad. I'm glad my story makes you hyper! Have some mints! ^^**  
  
PsychoSisters: **Yay! Thanks for the new bendy straw & the Yuugi plushie! *huggles* I will now read your fic. (-^^-) --- btw, cute squirrelliee face!**  
  
TheUnlovedOutcast: **Thanks! Ramen noodles are the only thing I *can*make. -_-;**  
  
freay royu: **Thank you! Ooh, I want to see your picture of Pimp Pegsy.**  
  
General Dredge: **Thanks & you're welcome!**  
  
XxAnimeSwtnZzxX: **Thankies! ^_^**  
  
Ala: **You're right about Marik! Sorry if I scarred you with the adult diapers. *_*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
~***~  
  
Poor Pegasus sat at the head of a ridiculously long table. He never actually enough company to fill all the seats around this table, but he liked it anyway. Besides, it was expected for every fashionable, wealthy man to have a lengthy, impractical table. Surely Kaiba had one.  
  
The table should be very stylish - a sleek piece of furniture that seems to say, Look at me, I'm rich and chic not to mention polished.' Anyway, Pegasus was in a sad state. He was nearly broke, despite his air of richness.   
  
Kemo: What about the small fortune you made off Pegsy's Playmates'?  
  
Pegasus: It's long gone. I spent it all paying for this divine red velvet suit. *snuggles face into velvety collar* so soft.  
  
Kemo & Croquet: o_o  
  
Croquet: What about all the Duel Monsters revenue, sir?  
  
Pegasus: It's almost gone. Industrial Illusions makes all the cards, but Kaiba Corp. makes all the technology. I'm afraid there's a lot more demand for dueling technology right now than there is for cards.  
  
Croquet: Excuse me for being so bold, sir, but perhaps you could make a deal with Mr. Kaiba.  
  
Pegasus: I think you're right, Croquet. A deal indeed Mwahaha!  
  
Kemo: Excuse me for being so rude, sir, but that evil laugh was weak.  
  
Pegasus: _ Shut up and bring me some gorgonzola cheese and fruit juice!  
  
Kemo: 0_0 Yes, sir!  
  
Pegasus: Croquet, get Kaiba on the phone now, please!  
  
Croquet: Yes, sir.  
  
Pegasus: And for God's sake, will you two get out of those bunny costumes?!?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Meanwhile, at the similarly-built Kaiba mansion, Seto was attempting to assemble one of Mokuba's new toys. It was a life-size Barbie doll yes, you read correctly. The newest life-size Barbie doll - Malibu Ho'.  
  
Why Mokuba wanted one so badly, Seto could not fathom. The elder Kaiba had tried to convince his little brother to buy anything but that disgusting thing, that monstrosity. Seto had suggested every other toy he could think of the best remote control cars, even his very own duel disk. If Mokuba really wanted something to dress up with, Seto would have ordered him a custom-made junior trenchcoat.  
  
But Mokuba's mind could not be changed. No, he wanted the Barbie. So being the excellent big brother that he was, Seto had no choice but to order one. Now he was losing his dignity trying to assemble the horrid, god-forsaken thing.  
  
Seto: Ow! Damn this thing! Why the hell does its arm look like a leg?!?  
  
Mokuba: O_o Because you stuck its leg on its shoulder.  
  
Seto: AhhhHH! Crap. Ow! There, how's that?  
  
Mokuba: Um, now its head is on its foot.  
  
Seto: Damn it! Die, you vile piece of trash! *kicks Barbie across room*   
  
Mokuba: O_O Don't, Seto! You're hurting it!  
  
Seto: GOOD! I'm gonna burn this thing! *stuffs Barbie into fireplace* Ah ha ha ha! How's THAT? Warm enough for ya?!?  
  
Mokuba: NOOO! Leave it alone, Seto!  
  
Seto: Heh heh heh *lights match*  
  
Doorbell: *ding dong*  
  
Seto & Mokuba: o_o   
  
Doorbell: *sigh* I said ding dong!  
  
Seto: Come in!  
  
Pegasus: *stares at the Barbie in the fireplace, a traumatized Mokuba, & a maniacal Seto* Is this a bad time, perhaps?  
  
Seto: no, not at all. Heh heh  
  
Mokuba: *tries to grab Barbie from fireplace, but a random hotel employee snatches it away* *runs away*  
  
Pegasus: O_o Well then. I'll make this quick.  
  
Seto: Good. I have better things to do, you know.  
  
Pegasus: Like assemble dolls for your little brother? ^^  
  
Seto: Shut up and talk!  
  
Pegasus: I'm afraid I can't do both at the same time  
  
Seto: -_-'  
  
Pegasus: Well, as you know, I'm slowly going broke. Now, dueling technology is in higher demand than the actual cards, so so I need to make a deal with you, Mr. Kaiba.  
  
Seto: O_O I can't do that. It's it's wrong.  
  
Pegasus: But I need your help, Mr. Kaiba. Without it, I'll be penniless.  
  
Seto: Sorry, but I'm not like that. I refuse to make that kind of deal!  
  
Pegasus: But it's a fair deal! Please, Mr. Kaiba! I'm begging you!  
  
Seto: For the last time, I will not join Pegsy's Playmates'! _  
  
Pegasus: @_@   
  
Seto: I said, I refuse your offer!  
  
Pegasus: _ No, no, no! It's a business offer! I wanted to design some new products combining the powers of Kaiba Corp. and Industrial Illusions.  
  
Seto: -_-;  
  
Pegasus: People get the most disgusting ideas these days anyway, about the deal  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Meanwhile, Yugi and his crew were still visiting' the old folks' home. With the aid of Yugi and his new food dueling technique, Joey had successfully made macaroni and cheese. Unfortunately, he had also eaten it all before anyone else got a chance to try it.  
  
In order to distract the elderly from their hunger, the quick-thinking Yami and talented Yugi attempted to perform a rather short rap' for them. Although, after this incident, one could refer to them as the slow-thinking Yami' and not-so-talented Yugi' without being attacked.  
  
Old lady: We're hungry!  
  
Old man: Yeah, where's our food?  
  
Joey: Heh heh uh, help?  
  
Old people: You ate it, didn't you? Grrr *wheelchairs surround Joey*  
  
Joey: Ahhhh! They're gonna eat me!  
  
Yugi: Don't worry, Joey - we'll save you!  
  
Yami: We will?  
  
Yugi: ¬_¬  
  
Yami: We will!  
  
Yugi: yo yo yo!  
  
Old people:   
  
Yami: Yo! Stand up! Stand up!  
  
Old lady: *stands up* AHH! My hip! *crumples to floor*   
  
Yami:   
  
Old man: *you know what goes here - something to the effect of squish' *  
  
Yami: @_@ No, I meant  
  
Yugi: It's too late  
  
Yami: No! I'm sorry, guys.  
  
Tea: You mean  
  
Yugi: Yes, Tea, they're going to replace his adult diaper.  
  
Joey: NOOO! We're all gonna die!  
  
Tea: Don't be ridiculous, Joey!  
  
Yami: I'm afraid he's right. The changing of an adult diaper can be fatal.  
  
Joey: NOOO! We're all gonna die!  
  
Yami: ¬_¬ Yes, Joey. We've established that.  
  
Joey: Oh. Just makin' sure.  
  
Yugi: Before we die, I just want everyone to know that you guys are the best friends a guy could ask for.  
  
Yami: Well, I can just go hide in the puzzle, but I'll still miss you guys!  
  
Yugi: ¬_¬ Gee, that's reassuring, Yami. Thanks a lot.  
  
Yami: I'm only being realistic.  
  
Tristan: I'll miss all of you but I'll especially miss you, Duke. I love you, man! *hugs Duke*  
  
Duke: o_o –– ^_^ I love you too, Tristan! *hugs back*  
  
Everyone else, including the old people: O_O   
  
While everyone was in shock, our favorite white-haired rogue, Bakura, waltzed into the room with a look of disgust on his face. Beside him was Ryou, who looked as if he had just seen the drunken ghost of a squirrel doing an Irish jig. If you have not already guessed, this was an expression of severe fright with a touch of humor.  
  
These were not their reactions to each other, however, but to the embrace between Tristan and Duke. In fact, this sight was so bewildering and astonishing that it brought the inevitable changing of the adult diaper to an abrupt halt, leaving our heroes just enough time to escape.  
  
Ryou: what exactly happened back there?  
  
Tristan: *whistles*  
  
Yugi: What he means to say is what was that thing all about?  
  
Duke: *looks around sheepishly*  
  
Bakura: WHY IN THE BLOODY HELL WERE YOU HUGGING EACH OTHER?!?  
  
Tristan: we, uh we were–  
  
Duke: We were afraid to die?  
  
Joey: Is that an answer or a question?  
  
Tristan & Duke:   
  
Joey: I don't wanna know! *dry heaves*  
  
Bakura: _ For Gods' sake, change the bloody subject already!  
  
Yami: um yeah how about those Duel Monsters?  
  
Bakura: -_-'  
  
~***~  
  
  
End of chappie 10! Please review! Tune in next time for more Bakura, Seto, & possibly some squirrels! ^__^ Thanks for reading!  
  



	11. The Rap Tournament

Thanks to all my reviewers & Happy New Year! This is a rather long chappie - hopefully you'll like it. Enjoy! ^__^  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
**  
Ookami-Arashi: **Sorry, more squirrels in the next chappie. Here's something to tide you over. *hands you squirrel plushie* Enjoy!**  
  
XxAnimeSwtnZzxX: **Yes, Mokuba needs his ho! ^^ Thanks for reviewin', homeslice!**  
  
PsychoSisters: **Sorry, squirleelies next chappie. Here's something to tide you over. *hands you squirrel plushie* (-^^-)**  
  
Ala: **Sorry about that! Hee hee! *hands you a new Coke* Don't worry, there won't be any more bunny-costumed men (except Duke ^^) or adult diapers.**  
  
Darkness Princess: **Yay! Thanks for the mallet! You'd better start dancing for us, Dice boy! Oh, about Tea, Yami, & Yugi I'll do the honors! But I won't shoot them I'll hit them with my shiny new mallet! Hee hee! ^__^**  
  
Kelly Noel: **Are you okies? ^^ Thank you very much!**  
  
Daisy-chan*Mistress of Evil: **I wonder if there are really any Tristan/Duke fics or pics out there ha ha! The Apocalypser' thing is hilarious!!! Would you mind if I put it in the story? ^^ Thanks for reviewing! ^_^**  
  
Bakura no Touzoku: **A long review deserves a long response, so here goes as a fellow Marik fan, you are entitled to know that he is in this chappie. By the way, I love the explanation of your insanity!!! (I might have to borrow it for Bakura heh heh.) I, too, subconsciously integrate animeish behavior in my everyday movements! not to mention the attraction to shiny and or valuable objects! There will probably be more of that gay-bashing kinda stuff. About Yami I was asking myself the same question. I haven't really decided, so you can! He shouldn't have his own body, but he should be more than that semi-tangible I'll-go-possess-my-hikari thing. I guess he's somewhere in-between. I'll try to have Bakura cause some chaos & destruction for ya! I read your bio & it was funny! It sounded like me, though freaky. Congrats on your Kurama/Bakura fangirl-ness! I'll read & review some of your fics soon! Happy new year & thanks for reviewing! ^_^**  
  
Mattitude: Version 2: **Ahhh! Die, Cena! Thanks, Red Eyes! ^^ No, Seto's not very handy & I don't know why Mokuba wants a Barbie. Thanks for reviewing!**  
  
Liviania: **Yeah, their deaths would have been a major plot problem. ^^**  
  
GraveRobbers Aman: **Thank you. I really enjoyed writing about Seto & the doll. Your name means graverobber's lover', hmm? *points at Bakura* Hee hee! Cute! ^^**  
  
Chaos and Yami Chaos77: **Thanks yes, death to doll & diapers!  
  
~***~  
  
After the little incident' between Tristan and Duke, everyone else wanted to forget about it as soon as possible. No one could blame them. After all, it was a rather queer sight. Queer meaning both strange and well, you know. Bakura, being the individual who wanted to forget the fastest, was also the first to see a peculiar poster neatly taped onto a street light. (He was also the first to start counting sparkles in the sidewalk but back to the poster.)  
  
Now, you must understand that this was no ordinary poster. It was a stunning piece of work, a beautiful curiosity. The color of this glamorous poster was what one may call red violet - but not violet red. However, the exceptional color did not even compare to the marvelous texture of the poster. For this was no plain glossy paper. No, this was glossy paper covered with a divine velvety substance. To sum up this remarkable poster: If there was a contest for the most unique and attractive posters around the world, this particular poster would win the blue ribbon.  
  
Then again, it was just a simple poster, which meant it had something to announce. The words were written in very neat print  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
RAP TOURNAMENT!  
  
There will be a rap tournament held tonight. All participants & spectators are to meet in the parking lot of the Apollo Theater. Beginners & Duel Monsters duelists are welcome. See you there!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Yugi: Ooh, let's go!  
  
Yami: But Yugi, this may be a trap!  
  
Yugi: ¬_¬  
  
Yami: Alright, alright, we'll go. -_-'  
  
Yugi: ^^  
  
Joey: We're gonna kick some duelist butt, Yug!  
  
Tristan: Hold on a minute! Do you guys even know what this is?  
  
Bakura: Of course. I participate in this tournament almost every year.  
  
Joey: Hey, Ryou. You never told us about this.  
  
Ryou: ^^; I didn't know. We didn't go last year and I didn't have the ring before that.  
  
Bakura: Oh, that's right. I was possessing 50 Cent' back in the day.  
  
Tristan: So that's how he survived all those gunshots  
  
Tea: Half of those shots were yours. -_-;  
  
Tristan: only three.  
  
Tea:   
  
Duke: Oh, don't listen to her.  
  
Tristan: Don't worry - I never do.  
  
Tea: ¬_¬   
  
Bakura: -_-' back then, I was the only duelist in the hood'. That tournament was– Wait that was a thieving contest, not a rapping tournament.  
  
Duke: Rap dueling? -_-'  
  
Yugi: I remember reading about that! There were these little kids that couldn't afford cards, so they–  
  
Joey: Why didn't they just buy some?  
  
Yami: Joey, afford' means they were too poor to buy something.  
  
Joey: right. Heh heh.  
  
Yugi: Anyway, they couldn't afford cards, so they decided to duel' by rapping! It seemed pretty neat.  
  
Yami: Interesting. So there's a rapping tournament here tonight.  
  
Joey: And we're gonna sign up! All riiight!  
  
Bakura: They must be deciding to match the opponents up at the dueling site.  
  
Ryou: What if Yugi and Joey end up facing off against each other again?  
  
Joey: I'll probably beat Yugi with a cheap shot about his height.  
  
Yami: Not before we hit you with a cheap shot about your intelligen–  
  
Yugi: ¬_¬ be nice.  
  
Yami: *sigh*  
  
Bakura: Ha ha! YOU'RE WHIPPED! Hahaha! By your *hikari*! HA HA! *rolls around on ground, laughing*  
  
Yami: -_-U  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Meanwhile, Pegasus had made a deal with Kaiba. Why are these two always called by their last names, anyway? Are they in the army? No. Are they on a sports team? No. Is it too much trouble to say or ? Apparently so. Well, is a rather long name, but he could always go by . There's just no excuse for Seto, though. Oh well.  
  
Anyway, Max-ette and Seti-weti had agreed to sponsor a new tournament  
  
Seto: But why can't it be a Duel Monsters tournament?  
  
Pegasus: Because, my old friend, Duel Monsters just aren't very popular here in the ghetto.' If we want to get a lot of business, it'll have to be a rapping tournament.  
  
Seto: Very well. I'll still be participating, though.  
  
Pegasus: I wouldn't have expected any less from you, Kaiba-boy.  
  
Seto: _ I'll be there. And don't call me that!  
  
Pegasus: As you wish, Kaiba-boy. I'll see you there!  
  
Seto: -_-;  
  
**On the way to the parking lot with Yug & Co**  
  
Yugi: Well, we're almost there.  
  
Tristan: Good. She's getting heavy.  
  
Tea: *being dragged by Tristan, Joey, & Duke* *hits Joey*  
  
Joey: OW! Jeez, can't we just let let er go?  
  
Yami: No, Joey. Tea has to learn to face her fears.  
  
Duke: What are you talking about?!?  
  
Yugi: Tea sang at the Apollo Theater. She lost badly.  
  
Bakura: It was pathetic! ^^  
  
Yugi: ¬_¬  
  
Yami: Now she doesn't want to go back to the Apollo parking lot.  
  
Tea: YOU CAN'T MAKE ME GO! I'll I'll I'll talk about friendship for an hour!!!  
  
Joey, Tristan, & Duke: *drop her immediately*  
  
Tea: *dusts herself off* That's better. ^^  
  
Yami: Tea, you have to walk back to the Apollo with confidence. If you don't–  
  
Caped Mystery Person: There's no telling what would happen MWAHAHAHAHA!  
  
After this unmistakably evil laugh, an awkward silence fell on Yugi and his friends  
  
Yugi:   
  
Silence: Sorry, kid. Hey, Yami! Well, gotta go. *gets up and runs away*  
  
Ryou: O_O What was that?!?  
  
Yami: That was Silence, an old friend of mine. ^^  
  
Ryou: -_-; I meant the unpleasant laughter before that.  
  
Bakura: There's only one evil laugh like that the only one comparable to mine!  
  
Yami:   
  
Marik: *throws off robe* It took you that long to figure that out? -_-'  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Marik was wearing black pants of the baggiest you can imagine' variety. And of course that off-white, slutty little cut-off half-shirt. To complete Marik's look, there was a golden millennium eye medallion hanging from a thick chain around his neck. Ooh, almost forgot - hidden under the bottoms of his extremely baggy pants, Marik was sporting a brand new pair of Nike Air Force One's.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Joey: What are *you* doin' here?!?  
  
Marik: I'm here for the rap tournament, you fool.  
  
Yugi:   
  
Marik: So I can finally win your puzzle, little Yugi.  
  
Duke: Let me get this straight *you* rap?!?  
  
Marik: Of course, Dicey Boy.  
  
Bakura: That's all fine and dandy, but what in the bloody hell are you wearing?!?  
  
Marik: Well, these pants are designed by OutKast, and my shirt is from the autumn line by Desert Sand', a popular Egyptian designer. ^^  
  
Bakura: -_-; I wasn't really expecting an answer.  
  
Marik: Well, you got one, you non-stylish dude.  
  
Tristan: Why do you call everyone a name at the end of your sentences?  
  
Marik: Because I want to, you you  
  
Tristan: You can't think of a name for me! Ha ha! ^^  
  
Marik:   
  
Marik's insulting words were cut off by the sound of helicopter blades slashing the air. Three more duelists arrived while the copter was busy landing: Mai, the drug-dealer, Weevil, the bug expert, and Mako, the fish expert. Wait did I say copter? That's right, it's Seto!  
  
Seto: Shall we get this tournament going, then?  
  
Joey: We shoulda known you were behind this, Kaiba!  
  
Seto: Not only me this time it was Max-ette's idea.  
  
Yugi:   
  
Seto: o_o Uh, I mean Pegasus!  
  
Pegasus: *drives up* That's right! So, let's get this thing started!  
  
Bakura: Yes, let's. *grin*  
  
Pegasus: Let me explain the rules. You will each make up and recite a short rap, preferably insulting your opponent. Got it?  
  
Everyone: Got it!  
  
Seto: Good. Now we'll select our opponents, using my patented Blue Eyes Lotto'. Ready, DJ Moki?  
  
Mokuba: *presses button on Blue Eyes Lotto'* And this time, Seto painted your names on the little balls, so we don't have to bother with those stupid number' things!  
  
Seto: ¬_¬ anyway, Mako Tsunami will now face Marik Ishtar. Roland, begin the duel er, rap!  
  
Roland:   
  
Mako (to Marik):  
  
~ I've spent my life at sea,  
and I've seen a frightening fish or two.  
But never have I seen  
such a scary sight as you! ~  
  
Spectators: that was just sad. -_-;  
  
Marik: HA! You stand no chance against me and my Millennium Rod!  
  
Spectators: Hee hee Rod hee–  
  
Marik: Shut up! *points Millennium Rod at spectators*  
  
Spectators: 0_0  
  
Marik: Now then  
  
Marik (to Mako):  
  
~ Since you're an ocean duelist,  
ya must enjoy swimmin' wit the fishies  
but not nearly as much  
as ya enjoy smoochin' other bishies! ~  
  
Spectators: Hee hee hee!  
  
Mako: _  
  
Roland: Next up is Joey Wheeler versus Seto Kaiba!  
  
Joey: Heh heh I'm gonna whip Kaiba!  
  
Seto: What makes you think that, Chihuahua?  
  
Joey:   
  
Yugi: Good luck, Joey!  
  
Roland:   
  
Joey (to Kaiba):  
  
~Ya think you're really cool  
in that stupid white trenchcoat.  
Ya need to face the truth -  
that ya look like a a a French goat! ~  
  
Spectators: HA HA HA!  
  
Yugi: It's okay, Joey. That was good!  
  
Yami: -_-;  
  
Seto: Heh heh. Was that really the best you could do, Wheeler?  
  
Joey: _ Just hurry up and rap!  
  
Seto: Oh, the pup's in a rush, is he? Fine, I'll make it quick.  
  
Kaiba (to Joey):  
  
~ I've called you a dog before,  
and although that may be so  
I'm afraid I've never seen a mutt  
with an I.Q. that low! ~  
  
Spectators:   
  
Joey: Now that was just pathetic, Kaiba!  
  
Seto: o_o What are you talking about?!?  
  
Joey: What the heck is an I.Q.?!? HA HA! You had to make up words just to compete with me! ^^  
  
Seto: -_-U   
  
Duke: Joey, an I.Q. is–  
  
Yami: No, it's better that he doesn't know!**  
**  
Roland: The next duel is between Mai Valentine and Yugi Moto!  
  
Mai: Let's go, hon!  
  
Yami: Do you want me to handle this, Yugi?  
  
Yugi: No, Yami. I have to do this myself.  
  
Yami: Very well. Just believe in the the heart of the uh the heart of the rap!  
  
Bakura: More like heart of the crap'!  
  
Yami: ¬_¬  
  
Roland:   
  
Mai (to Yugi):**  
  
**~ You've got a winning attitude,  
and your hairstyle's pretty neat.  
But I've never seen a duelist**  
**standing at a height of just three feet! ~  
  
Yami:   
  
Yugi: Let me handle this, Yami.  
  
Yami: Are you sure?  
  
Yugi: Oh yeah. I've taken a lot of short jokes, but that was the last straw.  
  
Yugi (to Mai):**  
  
**~ Ya act so independent,  
and you keep insulting Jou.  
Why can't ya tell the truth -  
that you're a good-fo'-nothin' ho! ~  
  
Spectators:   
  
Roland: Alright. The final match is between Weevil Underwood and Bakura!  
  
Joey: I thought you shot that little freak, Tristan.  
  
Tristan: I did.  
  
Weevil: I didn't die, you fool. My insect friends revived me by licking my face.  
  
Tea: I think I'd rather die.  
  
Bakura: You're a disgusting little maggot, Weevil.  
  
Weevil: Thanks for the compliment. Now let's duel!  
  
Bakura: Very well. Wish me luck, Ryou!  
  
Ryou: No way!  
  
Pegasus: You know, Ryou-boy, in a rap duel, if a person beats a spirit who usually possesses another person, the victorious person can then possess the second person.  
  
Tristan: What's your point?  
  
Pegasus: In other words, if Weevil wins, he could possess Ryou.  
  
Tristan: o_o eww.  
  
Ryou: O_O Eeep! GO, BAKURA!!!  
  
Weevil (to Bakura):  
  
~ Ya may look really scary,  
hangin' out in da graveyard.  
but ya shouldn't open ya mouth,  
cuz ya sound like a retard! ~  
  
Spectators:   
  
Tea: No, I think he sounds more like a sexy British vampire.  
  
Everyone: O_O  
  
Tea: º-º I mean, doesn't everyone?  
  
Ryou: ^^  
  
Bakura (to Weevil):  
  
~ You think you're a good duelist,  
that you're really tough and mean.  
But take a look in the mirror -  
and you'll see the real Insect Queen! ~  
  
Spectators: HEE HEE!!  
  
~***~  
  
End of chappie 11. Whew, that was long! Please review & tell me who you think should win each rap duel'. I'd appreciate it & your reviews will definitely affect the outcome! Thanks for reading! ^__^


	12. The Best Laid Plans of Squirrels & Psych...

*** Many thanks to my awesome reviewers! ^_~   
**  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
**Ookami-Arashi: **You're welcome for the squiggle.' ^^ Seto's gonna win this match.  
  
**Ala: **You liked the IQ' part, huh? Thanks, that was fun to write. ^^  
  
**Shoreiyoku-chan: **Thank you! Don't worry, Espa's not dead just injured. -_-U  
  
**Insane Penguin: **I love your name! ^^ This is the oddest, funniest, most disturbing YGO fanfic you've ever read? Yay! Thank you very much! Ooh, I want a prize-thingie. Don't worry about agreeing with Tea it was really Marik speaking through her with the Millennium Rod JK!  
  
**Jujubie: **Thank you very much! Peace out! ^-^  
  
**Mattitude: Version2: **Rhyming is very hard. _ That gay Gamma' thing is hilarious! Thanks for reviewing!  
Random South Park Kid: Oh my god, you killed Cena! Yay!  
  
**lostlover1: **You'll provide me with sugar? YAY!!! Thank you! ^___^  
  
**aqua angelz: **Thank you! ;)  
  
**laDy SaSaMi7: **Thanks for laughing! ^__^  
  
**yugified: **Hee hee! Thanks for reviewing! ^_^  
  
**Bunny Meatball: **Interesting name anyway, I'm glad this didn't offend you, & I'm glad you like it! I need an Ebonics dictionary myself. -_-; Sorry, I didn't foresee the hints of yaoi. Oh, btw, why is Duke putting on a leather thong?!? O_O Never mind, don't wanna know. ^^; Thanks for all the funny reviews! *searches for Ebonics 4 Duzzummies*  
  
**Kitten: **Thanks!  
  
**yami moon: **Thank you! The outfits are fun to imagine. Heh heh, it would be amusing to Weevil. :D  
  
**Black Mistress: **All Hail Mistress of Typos! Heh heh, Seksai British Vampire! You hentai! ^^; btw, what is this mushroom breath' you speak of? Yay, you liked the spectators! I was neutral on Kaiba & Joey, too. Remember, believe in the Heart of the Crap!' Thanks for reviewing! ^__^  
  
**XxAnimeSwtnZzxX: **Thank you! ^_^  
  
**sailorstarlight4: **Yay! Sugar is fun! *huggles reveiwer* I like ya too! ^_^  
  
**Kelly Noel: **You think it was the bestest chappy so far? YAY! ^^ Thank you!  
  
**PsychoSisters: **Thanks for laughing! So, ya liked Yuugi's rap, hmm? Good! You're welcome for the squirrelie plushie! (-^^-)  
  
**makaro1: **I've finally figured it out! Yami Bakura is a vampire originally from Transylvania, who moved to Egypt as a child, currently lives in Japan, visits Pennsylvania occaisonally, & has a British accent. ^^; or maybe not. Anyway, I'm glad you peeps' liked the rapping. I'm an LP fan myself. ^^ Thanks for reviewing!  
  
**christine: **Hi! Thanks! Cute face - \_/* hee hee ^^  
  
**Daisy-chan*Mistress of Evil: **Yay! Thanks for letting me use The Apocalypser!' (We must sign a contract. ^^) Nice rappin', Neith! Spike the tea more often! Thanks for reviewing! ^-^  
  
**Chaos and Yami Chaos77: **Thanks! Don't worry, the squirrels will return!  
  
**GraveRobbers Aman: **I thought you'd like that nickname. ^_~ Thanks for laughing! (Sorry, Bakura - I had to update sooner or later.) ;P  
  
**Star-chan-chan: **I'm glad the summary didn't scare you off. ^^; Yay! Ya like the squirrels! Thanks for reading & reviewing! ^__^  
  
**Darkness Princess: **All right! Ya stole some cool stuff from Kaiba Corp. I had no idea their product line was full of torture devices. o_O ok, here I go *hits Yami, Yugi, & Tea* *shing!* *shong!* *shang!* hee hee! ^^ Now dance, Duke! or feel the wrath! I updated! Get the wrath' away! o_o  
  
**Aeolus the Soul Hunter: **Disturbing & funny? Thank you! ^__^ Oh, I saw the gangsta Booblescotch! ITS SO CUTE! Disturbing but cute! Ok, I wrote more, so don't spaz. ^^  
  
**silver dark rose: **Thanks! Yes, Yugi's finally gangsta! ^^  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Goddess of Dragons: Hi! *waves* Well, I learned 3 important things from all your reviews:  
  
1. People can't stand Weevil. ~ I couldn't agree more -_-'  
  
2. People like the concept of rap dueling.' ~ fortunately for me ^^;  
  
3. People like Bakura's new nickname. ~ heh heh heh ^___^  
  
Bakura: Don't say it.  
  
GoD: I won't. hehehe  
  
Bakura: Shut up!  
  
GoD: Sexy British Vampire!  
  
Bakura: _  
  
GoD: Sorry, I couldn't resist. ^^;  
  
Bakura: -_-U  
  
GoD: ^_^ Anyway, back to the fic! Hope ya like it!  
  
~***~  
  
After being mercilessly insulted by Bakura, Weevil had become very frustrated. So, being the disgusting little parasite that he was, Weevil decided to take his anger out on Yugi.  
  
Weevil: Go, my Insect Queen! Attack Yugi!  
  
Yugi:   
  
Insect Queen:   
  
Yami: Yugi! NOOOO! Why?!?  
  
So, it would seem that our hero's life had come to tragic (and rather crunchy) end. But fate smiled upon Yugi, and luck saved him once again.  
  
Fate & Luck: ^__^  
  
All of a sudden, the silhouette of a tall, mysterious figure wearing a mask appeared out of thin air. No one knew who it was.  
  
Bakura: Who in the bloody hell is that?  
  
Ryou: I'm afraid I don't know.  
  
Mysterious Guy: Oh, you may not know me, but I know you! Heh heh!  
  
Ryou: You do? o_o  
  
Mysterious Guy: not you specifically, but I know Yugi!  
  
Yugi *stuck inside Insect Queen*: You do?  
  
Mysterious Guy: _ Doesn't anybody recognize the most talented magician on the face of the earth?!?  
  
Yami: *covers eyes* -_-U Oh God it's Arcana.  
  
Arcana: That's right! Gwahahahaha!  
  
Everyone: -_-;  
  
Yugi *still inside Insect Queen*: A little help, guys!?!  
  
Arcana: I owe you one, Yugi. Go, Mystic Tomato!  
  
Mystic Tomato: ^_^ *rolls across ground to squish Insect Queen*  
  
Insect Queen: o_o *squish* x_x   
  
Weevil: NO! How could you?!? T_T  
  
Yugi: Whew, that was close!  
  
Yami: *poses* Too close.  
  
Mystic Tomato: -_-U  
  
Arcana: Well, I'll be going now! Goodbye! Gwahahahahaha!  
  
Yugi: ^^  
  
Mystic Tomato: ^_^ *rolls away*  
  
Seto: o_o okay we're gonna announce the winners of the rap tournament now.  
  
Joey: Aw, yeah! You know I'm gonna win, Kaiba!  
  
Seto: -_-; Roland, announce the winners!  
  
Roland: Yes, sir. The winner of the first duel is Marik Ishtar!  
  
Mako: Huh? Oh well. *skips off*  
~ A sailor's life is the life for me,  
as I sail across the open sea!  
And I never ever ever do a thing about the weather,  
cuz the weather's never ever done a thing for me! ~ ^^  
  
Everyone: O_O   
  
Marik: Victory is mine! I will destroy you all with my Millennium Rod!  
  
Spectators: Hee hee! He said rod' again! ^^  
  
Marik: _ Shut up!  
  
Roland: The winner of the second duel is Seto Kaiba!  
  
Seto: *smirk* Well, well, what a surprise.  
  
Joey: WHAT?!? Are ya crazy? He made up a word!  
  
Yami: Calm down, Joey.  
  
Joey: Why? He should be disqualified!  
  
Yami: trust me, okay?  
  
Joey: ¬_¬  
  
Roland: The winner of the third duel is Yugi Moto!  
  
Yugi: ^^  
  
Yami: I'm proud of you, hikari.  
  
Yugi: ^^ I know.  
  
Mai: -_-; Are you two done yet?  
  
Yugi: Don't make me repeat that rap.  
  
Mai: .  
  
Roland: The winner of the fourth duel is Bakura!  
  
Weevil: Bleah! I'm leaving!  
  
Bakura: Good riddance, you insect queen!  
  
Weevil: __  
  
Seto: We will now begin the semifinals!  
  
High-pitched voice: That's right, but you'll be doing it my way!  
  
Everyone: O_O  
  
Seto: What the hell was that?!?  
  
Chipmunk: Don't you know who I am?  
  
Seto: No, I don't. -_-'  
  
Chipmunk: Let me tell you I am a creature of your demise. I am the phantom of your nightmares. I am a thief and a stealer of souls and I have done horrible things in my attempt of owning all seven Millennium Items  
  
Bakura: Just what the hell do you think you're doing!?!  
  
Chipmunk: How dare you interrupt me, foolish mortal!  
  
Bakura: You little bastard! You're stealing my lines!  
  
Chipmunk: What?!? Oh very well. I am a chipmunk of your demise. I am the rodent of your nightmares.  
  
Yami: No, you're not nearly as scary as those dancing badgers. *shudders*  
  
Yugi: -_-U Go on.  
  
Chipmunk: I am a thief and a stealer of lines and I have done horrible things in my attempt of owning all seven of Bakura's catch phrases  
  
Bakura: There's eight, you dolt.  
  
Chipmunk: _ Everyone else gets these great, dramatic introductions, but not me, no, I'm not scary enough - I have to settle for this! Some cheap, frequently interrupted–  
  
Seto: Just tell us who the hell you are already!  
  
Chipmunk: Very well I am the all-powerful chipmunk known as the Apocalypser!  
  
Yugi: 0_0 Oh my!  
  
Everyone else: -_-U  
  
Mokuba: He looks kinda like you, Seto.  
  
Seto: Don't be ridiculous, Mokuba.  
  
Mokuba: No, really. He looks like what would happen if you had a three-way with Bakura and a wombat.  
  
Seto & Bakura: O_O  
  
Tea: *imagines* *__*  
  
Yugi: Uh, Tea? You're drooling on my shoe.  
  
Tea: *blushes* Huh? Oh, sorry, Yugi! Heh heh ^^U  
  
Yugi: That's okay. ^^  
  
Yami: No, Yugi, it's not okay.  
  
Yugi: But Tea apologized  
  
Yami: No, I mean, Tea's thoughts are not okay. ¬_¬  
  
Yugi: What are you talking about, Yami?  
  
~*~*~*  
  
Marik: Ooh, did you hear that, Odion? Another reason to win the pharaoh's puzzle! It will allow me to experience Tea's thoughts - then I can find out whether tights are uncomfortable or not! ^__^  
  
Odion: I thought you already knew that, Master Marik.  
  
Marik: _ And how would I know that?!?  
  
Odion: I saw you stealing some  
  
Marik: I never tried any tights on!  
  
Odion: Okay, even if you didn't, why do you want to know if they're comfortable or not?  
  
Marik: _ Shut up, Odion!  
  
Odion: As you wish, Master. ^^;  
  
~*~*~*  
  
Mokuba: Hey, Seto, I forgot to tell you something.  
  
Seto: What is it this time? It'd better not involve me with Bakura or a wombat!  
  
Mokuba: ^^ No, I was just gonna tell you that I got a new pet.  
  
Seto: What? A pet?  
  
Mokuba: Yeah, the rare hunters felt bad about kidnapping me, so they gave me this little chipmunk. *holds its out* I named her Cinnamoroll. ^^  
  
Cinnamoroll: -(^^)-   
  
Seto: o_o Oh well, it's better than that Apocalypser' one.  
  
Cinnamoroll: -(^^)-   
  
Seto: Actually, it's kinda cute. *pats head* Who's a widdle chippy-wippy? Hmm? Who's Moki's widdle chipper-munkie?  
  
Everyone: O_O  
  
While everyone was distracted by this rare display of affection' from Seto Kaiba, three small silhouettes swung across the shadows. They were hanging on dental floss ropes and three tiny red lights blinked from the packs attached to their backs. Their puffy tails swished through the air as they prepared to jump into the midst of the commotion.  
  
~***~  
  
Wheee! That's the end of chappie 12! Please review! ^__^  
  
A/N: Beware the dancing badgers! o_o


	13. The Convenience of Address Books

Goddess of Dragons: Yay! Thanks to all my cool (& very patient -_-) reviewers, this fic now has 201 reviews! ^^ *dances around*  
  
Pegasus: Yes, it appears your reviewers are the very creme de la creme!  
  
Goddess of Dragons: o_o Um, let's get to the thanks now  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
**  
christine: **Thanks for reviewing!Yesh, sugar is very good! I've got to get a Blue Eyes to protect me from the badgers. ;D**  
  
Bunny Meatball: **Thanks!Now you've got me freaked out about your name. I have no idea how I managed to mix a bit of hentai with rodents maybe it should be rated higher. o_o Weevil = evil' – great equation! XD**  
  
Jujubie: **Thank you very much! I'm da WOH-man, huh? Cool, I feel special! Peace out!**  
  
Ookami-Arashi: **Yea, you know where they keep the dancing badgers! ^^ Seto ish cute & fuzzy! Heehee!**  
  
GraveRobbers Aman: **Thanks for reviewing! How do I think up such crazy things, you ask? The answer is in a sugar packet near you! ^_^   
Sorry, Bakura-kun!  
Marik: Just wanting to wear tights doesn't make me weird! thanks for the hug, though. ^-^  
G.o.D.: Okaaay o_o**  
  
Icchan go BOOM: **YAY! Thankies! Don't let the badgers steal your OJ! ¬_¬'**  
  
Black Mistress=Kuroi Okami: **Wow, I can actually picture Yami, Bakura, & Malik singing O_O Yesh, I saw the hilarious LOTR Badger parody! XD When I was little, the only things I said were weird little chipmunk sounds, too. Although, I was born here. -_-U Badgers with YGO hairstyles?!? AHHHH! I'm really scared now. O_O;**  
  
sen.the.theif: **Thank you! Master of humor fics, hmm? I could get used to that title. ^^; Interesting mental images? I know what you mean!**  
  
makaro: **I like LP & Castlevania, too! Mako's rhyme is some silly old song I remembered. Why I keep things like that in my memory, I don't know. o_o; You did a chipmunk voice?!? O_O No comment. Thanks for reviewing!**  
  
PsychoSisters: **No! Evil puppy eyes! . Yesh, you will make your dramatic' entrance. And don't worry, Baki's got plenty of lines to steal. ^_~**  
  
XxAnimeSwtnZzxX: **My story's your favorite? Thanks, that means a lot. ^_^ Ooh, Sanrio Duel Monsters! I can imagine it now O_O Hello Kitty, attack his Dark Magician with your innocent stare' attack! Hee hee! ^^;**  
  
Star-chan-chan: **Thank you! ^-^**  
  
Darkness Princess: **Thankies! *sees Bakura in vampire outfit* O_O –– ^__^   
What is this Kweed' you speak of? Hee hee!  
Krump: You don't deserve that penguin suit! .  
Marik: o_o Get away from me, you fool!**  
  
Daisy-Chan*Mistress of Evil: **Sorry, Daisy - didn't mean to scare ya that bad! o_o; And yes, Leona, you ARE the only sane one. ^^;**  
  
Mattitude: Version2: **Thanks for reviewing! The chipmunks appreciate it! *steps out of random plane* Accident, indeed! Mwahaha!  
Kaiba: It wasn't baby talk, okay? it just slipped out. ¬_¬**  
  
Chaos & Yami Chaos: **Yes, death to dancing badgers!Best chappie? Thanks!**  
  
Aeolus the Soul Hunter: **By far the best chapter? Thanks! And yes, Odion's insurance company compensates him with a pound of sand each time Marik refers to him as a fool so the desert's running a bit low. ^^; And each time Tea thinks of Bakura in a not-okay way, he receives a random shiny object. -_-U**  
  
Kelly Noel: **Seto & Bakura scientifically fused? Not a bad idea *runs to secret underground laboratory* Sorry if it lacked in the Bakura & Ryou Dept.- I was concentrating on the chipmunk thingie. Speaking of which, can I have it back for the chappie? on second thought, you keep it. ^_~**  
  
Kitten: **Disturbing image, isn't it? -_-U**  
  
yamimoon: **Thanks & you're welcome for the reply - you are loved! ^_^ Watch your back, though - you never know where the badgers will strike next! ¬_¬'**  
  
Ani-Coolgirl: **Thankies! It doesn't freak me out that you know the badger song, it freaks me out that you got the exact number of badgers' right! o_o**  
  
RavenClaw: **Thank you! I'm surprised no one's ever mentioned Ghetto Seto'. Nice singing. ^_~**  
  
Seren147: **Thanks! Hee hee Seto funny!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Welcome to Chapter 13  
  
~***~  
  
Three small shadows slunk across the gutter of a building overlooking the parking lot. Their tails flicked from side to side as they debated over what action to take next.  
  
Fred: I say we jump in now! We've got to check this situation out ASAP.  
  
Chiriki: But I have to get a feel for The Apocalypser's dueling style first. Can't we observe them from here?  
  
Fred: And how would we go about doing that?  
  
PCU: What do you think I brought my infrared goggles, binoculars, and camera for? To capture the Kodak moment of Yugi hugging Yami?!?  
  
Fred & Chiriki: O_O   
  
PCU: Look over there!  
  
Meanwhile, over there', many things were happening. While our brave squirrel friends were staring at this show of affection between Yugi and Yami, the cold Seto Kaiba had realized his unusual behavior. He quickly snatched his hand away from Cinnamoroll's fuzzy little head and shoved it into the pocket of his trenchcoat.  
  
Seto: ¬_¬  
  
Marik: Look, Odion - yet another reason to obtain little Yugi's puzzle!  
  
Odion: What's that, master?  
  
Marik: Kaiba probably wishes he could communicate with that chipmunk right now. He probably wants to tell it he's sorry, but he can't be seen acting like that.  
  
Odion: I'm sure you're right. -_-;  
  
Marik: Now, if I had the puzzle, I could talk to the chipmunk for him!  
  
Odion: Um, why would you want to help him?  
  
Marik: You fool! If I help Kaiba, he'll give me his Egyptian God Card! plus, he might give me some money to buy things with like tights.  
  
Odion: -_-U That plan sounds a bit shaky, master.  
  
Marik: _ Be quiet, you fool!  
  
Odion: Very well.  
  
Marik: It's just not fair! Yugi doesn't deserve the puzzle. I mean, look at him, for Ra's sake!  
  
Joey: Uh, Yug? I hate to admit it, but I think Marik's right.  
  
Duke: Yeah, that hug's gotta end soon.  
  
Tea: *_* No it doesn't.  
  
Tristan: Yes, it does! Now!  
  
Yugi: *lets go of Yami*   
  
Yami: *gasps for breath*  
  
Yugi: We're only celebrating our victory in the first round of the rap tournament! A hug is just an expression of our friendship. Right, Yami? ^^  
  
Yami: -_- Sure, Yugi.  
  
Ryou: I'm afraid you're mistaken, Yugi. ^^;  
  
Yugi: What? Are you telling me there's some rule that says I can't hug my own Yami?  
  
Bakura: there is!  
  
At this moment, Bakura held up perhaps the most convenient book the world has ever seen. That's right, a little black object with the words Address Book' printed in gold on the front.   
  
At the time, this miniature book was not convenient because it held the names and phone numbers of Bakura's acquaintances (basically some old tomb-robbing buddies), but because he had quickly scribbled something on a blank page. (Sharpies are also incredibly useful, but that's another story.) The black ink read:  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Rules of conduct between Hikaris & their Yamis:  
  
1. Hikaris are not to hug their Yamis in public at any time, no matter what the circumstances.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Yugi: Oh. I didn't know that. Sorry, Yami.  
  
Yami: It's okay, Yugi. I know you meant well.  
  
Yugi: Hey, Ryou, I know it's a rule, but haven't you ever hugged Bakura?  
  
Ryou: Not in public.  
  
Bakura: .  
  
Ryou: Oh, sorry! Uh, forget what I said, Yugi. Just kidding, you know! Heh heh! ^^U  
  
Yugi: ¬_¬ Okay, I'll trust you on this one  
  
Ryou: Thanks, Yugi! If anyone found out about our–  
  
Bakura:   
  
Ryou: Heh heh! ^^;  
  
Bakura: Can we get this tournament going?!? _  
  
Seto: My thoughts exactly. -_-' Now, where were we?  
  
Apocalpyser: You were going to pair up the duelists for the semifinals foolish mortal!  
  
Bakura: That's it, I'm dueling the chipmunk!  
  
Seto: As much as I would like to see that, I'm afraid it wouldn't be fair.  
  
Apocalpyser: I'll just sit this round out since there would be an odd number of duelists, and all. ^^;  
  
Everyone: ¬_¬U  
  
Joey: I think you're scared!  
  
Apocalpyser: Oh yeah? Of what?  
  
Tea: You're afraid of the power of friendship!  
  
Apocalpyser: Don't be ridiculous - I'm not afraid of friendship!  
  
Tristan: You will be. -_-;  
  
Seto: We won't be choosing opponents by lottery this round. There will be a preliminary contest to decide who will face who.  
  
Duke: What kind of contest?  
  
Seto: a singing contest  
  
Tea: Ooh, can I try?  
  
Everyone:   
  
Tea: O_O  
  
Seto: Each semifinalist can have a back-up singer if they want. Come here, DJ Moki!  
  
Mokuba: All right, let's go, Roland!  
  
Roland: Seto Kaiba, you may begin!  
  
Mokuba: ~ You got me lifted, shifted, higher than the ceiling  
an' ooh wee, it's the ultimate feeling  
ya got me lifted, feelin' so gifted ~  
  
Seto: ~ Shuga, shuga, how ya get so fly? ~  
  
Joey: What?!? He only sang one line! He should be disqualified!  
  
Seto: Relax, Wheeler. It's quality, not quantity.  
  
Joey:   
  
Tristan: He means that it's how well you sing that counts, not how much.  
  
Joey: Oh. In that case he should still be disqualified.  
  
Seto: ¬_¬ The two semifinalists who sing the best will duel each other.  
  
Duke: Um, why did you sing that song, then?  
  
Seto: I wanted to duel whoever was skilled enough to sing a song that well.  
  
Joey: ya wanted to duel your little brother?  
  
Seto: . Shut up! What are you waiting for, Roland?  
  
Roland: Marik Ishtar, you may sing now!  
  
Marik: I'm not singing, you fool!  
  
Roland: Then you won't have the opportunity to duel Mr. Kaiba.  
  
Marik: Fine! I have more important opponents to beat.  
  
Yami: *poses*  
  
Marik: -_-U Let me rephrase that  
  
Roland: If Marik won't sing, then it's Bakura's turn!  
  
Bakura: Ha! You actually think I'm going to sing?  
  
Roland: Why wouldn't you?  
  
Bakura: Please, the second most evil guy isn't singing, and you expect me to? I decline.  
  
Roland: Alright. Since neither Marik nor Bakura will sing, it's up to Yugi Moto!  
  
Yugi: I'll do it!  
  
Yami: I'll help you! I must the fate of the world depends on it.  
  
Seto: -_-U  
  
Tea: We'll help, too! Cuz we're your friends, Yugi! Friends that will–  
  
DJ Moki: -_- *throws record on turntable*  
  
Yami: Go, go, go, go  
  
Tea, Joey, Tristan, & Duke: ~ Go Shorty, it's yer birthday   
we gon' party like it's yer birthday   
we gon' sip Bacardi like it's yer birthday   
and we don't give a *bleep* if it's really yer birthday! ~  
  
Yugi: ~ You can find me in the club, bottle full of water ~ Your turn, Yami!  
  
Yami: o_o Meh? Um oh, I know!   
~ I feel pretty, oh so pretty I feel pretty, and witty, and gay! ~  
  
The spectators oohed' and ahhed'. They also ihhed' and ehhed'. But they did not uhh', because uhh-ing', well that was just rude.  
  
Bakura: Witty, indeed.  
  
Joey: Yug, that was almost as embarrassing as the time when we went to Disneyland and ya had to change into Yami to pass the 48 inch height requirement to get on the rides.  
  
Yugi: ^^; Heh heh  
  
Roland: Since Seto Kaiba and Yugi Moto were the only ones who sang, they shall face each other in the semifinals!  
  
Marik: Aren't you forgetting something, you fool?  
  
Roland: Oh yes, Marik will face Bakura in the semifinals! ¬_¬   
  
Marik: Shut up, or feel the wrath of my Millennium Rod!  
  
Roland: tee hee!  
  
Marik: __  
  
Odion: May I suggest you generalize, and just refer to the rod as a Millennium Item instead?  
  
Marik: ¬_¬  
  
Meanwhile, in the shadows  
  
Chiriki: Well, The Apocalypser didn't duel, so I couldn't get any of his strategies, but I did pick up on a few of Marik's speech patterns.  
  
Fred: That's good. I wish he would have sang - I really wanted to hear that.  
  
PCU: Alright, let's get ready, you fools! I mean, you guys.  
  
Fred & Chiriki: -_-U  
  
PCU: ^^;  
  
As Marik and Odion were debating on what to call the Millennium Rod, the three agile squirrels slung miniature backpacks over their shoulders, slipped on little infrared goggles, and scurried down the gutter and into the parking lot.  
  
~***~  
  
Whee! End of chappie 13! Thanks for reading & please review! ^_^


	14. A Brief Interruption

New chappie! (took a while, I know -_-U blame my school in fact, you can write them angry e-mails! ;}) Anyway, thanks to all my reviewers! You peeps are great! ^^**  
  
**~*~*~*~*~*~*~***  
  
Insane Penguin: **' probably is a good response here. XD Yami is a fairy Thank you very much for calling this the funniest fanfic you've ever read! Your opinion means a lot to me! ^_^ I think the chipmunk is scared of that weird head bobbing thing. XD**  
  
Seren147: **Thank you! Hehe, those parts were amusing to write. ^^**  
  
Daisy-chan*Mistress of Evil: **^-^ The squirrels thank you - they're off to go rescue that hamster. ¬.¬; Oh no, what is the Apocalypser doing now?!? Thanks for reviewing!**  
  
Red-Eyes-Black-Gem: **Thank you very much! I'm afraid you were right about Pegasus Anyway, thanks for putting me on your faves!**  
  
Star-chan-chan: **It's ok! Thankies! Hey, the story even creeps me out. O_o; Don't worry, I'm pretty sure your insaneness won't bother anyone around here. ^_~**  
  
Mattitude: Version2: **Thanks. ^_~ Now I've got some ass-kicking to do! *runs off with sword* :D**  
  
Black Mistress: **Thankies! ^^ -– O.o Um are you ok? *hands Bakura water***  
  
thiefetc: **Hee hee! Thanks!**  
  
GraveRobbers Aman: **Hehe! You have to eat the sugar! Lots of sugar! ^_~  
Marik: Are you gonna hug me every chappie? ^^  
GoD: *steals Bakura's little black book*  
Bakura: Hey!  
GoD: *tosses book to you* Thanks for reviewing! ^_^**  
  
legolas: **Thank you very much! ^-^ Sorry, I didn't know my story was capable of causing such trouble! XD I have a bit of a pirate thing myself *pictures pirate Seto shaking it like a polaroid pic-ta* Interesting O.O Maybe I can work that in somewhere. ^^;**  
  
XxAnimeSwtnZzxX: **Thankies! Milkshake would be strange heh heh.**  
  
Choco-san: **Ahh! Puppy-eyes! Ok, the rap-contest semifinals will happen soon!**  
  
PsychoSisters: **Hehehe! Thankies! ^_^**  
  
makaro: **Thanks! I like Metallica & gum! ^^; I have a sword too - it looks like a dragon. ^_^ Any name suggestions? Hee hee! *hands you a new Cherry Coke***  
  
Jujubie: **Hiya! Awesome review - thank you very much! I could get used to the title of genius.' ^_~ It's ok, I'm crazy everyday! ^_^ Peace out! v^_^v**  
  
Bunny Meatball/Odango Usagi: **Thanks! Don't worry, Yugi will always break the hugging rule. -_-; Hehe!**  
  
Ani-Coolgirl: **You are not a loser! You should be proud - it's rather difficult to creep me out. ^_^ Thanks for reviewing!**  
  
Darkness Princess: **Thankies! Yesh, I am a nut. Ooh, squirrels like nuts! ^^; Hey, why is Duke in a bunnysuit? XD Blackmail is fun! Can I have some Kweed? Pwease? *grins maniacally* Hee hee!**  
  
Ookami-Arashi: **The squirrels appreciate your luff!' ^_^ Hopefully this chappie has enough loony stuff' for ya! ^_~  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Enjoy chappie 14 ^_^  
  
~***~  
  
The three agile squirrels slunk down the gutter and into the parking lot, where they stopped to take a break. Chiriki sipped on some genetically-modified Kool-Aid. PCU nibbled a few bite-size pretzels. These were no ordinary pretzels, however. Instead of salt, they were sprinkled with sugar. PCU claimed that this gave her an energy boost.' Fred, a longtime fan of Kweed' bars, crunched down on some crumbs found in his tiny backpack. As the squirrels enjoyed their little snack, they watched Seto Kaiba discuss business' with Mr. Pegasus.  
  
Seto: I'm not giving you one cent for THAT!  
  
Pegasus: But, Kaiba-boy!  
  
Seto: I refuse to give up my fortune for prize money!   
  
Pegasus: Kaiba, how can we have a tournament without any prize money?!  
  
Seto: I don't know, it's not my problem! Besides, what if I win? Then I'd just get my own money back!  
  
Pegasus: What's your point?   
  
Seto: -_-; My point is, you're the one that has to come up with the prize money!  
  
Pegasus: o.o Oh dear well, I can provide consolation prizes but for the grand prize what if we charged each participant a fee to continue in the semifinals?  
  
Seto:   
  
With this ingenious plan in mind, Maximillion Pegasus gracefully stepped up to the podium. (It was actually an upside-down trash can with a clipboard on it, but his elegant presence made it seem glittery and glamourous.) The duelists ceased chatting, eager to hear Pegasus explain the delay of the semifinals.  
  
Joey: When are we gonna get to see the next duel?  
  
Pegasus: Patience, Joey. Now, as you all know, tournaments cost money.  
  
Joey: I don't like the sound of this  
  
Pegasus: In order to qualify for the next round, each semifinalist must donate a small fee.  
  
Marik: What?! Do you have any idea how much it costs to buy robes for all my rare hunters!?  
  
Pegasus: Calm down, rod-boy. The fee is only fifty dollars.  
  
Marik: __   
  
Pegasus: Tee hee! ^^  
  
Seto: Pegasus! You're only charging us fifty dollars?!  
  
Duke: That does seem a little low  
  
Tristan: Especially compared to the three million from Duelists' Kingdom!  
  
Joey: Yeah, four duelists times fifty bucks equals uh, let's see well, not a lot!  
  
Seto: -_-U Two hundred dollars.  
  
Joey: ¬.¬  
  
Pegasus: you boys want me to raise the price, then?  
  
All:   
  
Pegasus: Good! Then go get your money!  
  
With that, the graceful Pegasus stepped off the curb, and commanded Croquet, his faithful man-servant, to escort him down the street. The semifinalists watched as Pegasus sauntered down an alley, and then disappeared behind a building the color of Bakura's shoelaces.  
  
Tea: We'd better find a way to get fifty dollars pretty soon!  
  
Yami: Yes, we'll find a way. We just have to believe in the heart of the uh, the heart of the the wallet, that's all!  
  
Seto: Hmpf! I see you're still relying on magic tricks to help you out, hmm, Yugi?  
  
Joey: Oh, like you're just gonna reach into your pocket and whip fifty bucks outta nowhere, huh, Kaiba?  
  
Seto: *smirks, reaches into trenchcoat pocket, and takes out a crisp new fifty dollar bill*  
  
Joey: ¬_¬ Shut up!  
  
Yugi: Hey, Joey! I bet you could do the same thing Kaiba just did!  
  
Duke: o_o How do you figure that, Yugi?  
  
Yugi: Well, after I beat Pegasus in Duelists' Kingdom, I gave the three million dollars to Joey, so he could pay for Serenity's eye operation. It was an expensive procedure, but he should still have quite a bit left. What do you say, Joey? Can you spare fifty bucks for a friend? ^^  
  
Joey: ^^U Well, ya see, Yug uh, the operation was reeeally expensive heh heh!  
  
Tristan: He spent the rest on rare cheeses and imported soda. -_-;  
  
Yugi: -_-U Oh, I see.  
  
Ryou: Looks like you'll have to collect the fee elsewhere. ^^;  
  
Tea: hey, where are you going to get the money, Bakura?  
  
Bakura: I'm going to steal it, of course.  
  
Tea: Ooh, can I be your   
  
Bakura: ¬_¬ *walks off to find a victim*  
  
Ryou: Don't worry, I'll help you guys!  
  
Joey:   
  
Ryou: o.o let's see  
  
Suddenly, a familiar voice interrupted the clever' thoughts of our little English muffin. The voice belonged to a man in a dark purple robe   
  
Robed man: Are you kids lookin' for cash?  
  
Tristan: As a matter of fact, we are.  
  
Robed man: Good. Then you might want to take this little survey.  
  
Joey: Oh yeah? Why should we?  
  
Robed man: Because if you do, then you get ten bucks!  
  
Yugi: I recognize that voice. Show yourself Bandit Keith!  
  
Robed man: Alright, alright, ya got me. *takes off robe, revealing the fishnet shirt and pink spandex pants*  
  
Joey: o_o Uh, Yug?  
  
Yugi: On second thought, don't show yourself.  
  
Bandit Keith: Make up your mind, kid! -_-' *puts robe back on, but leaves hood off*  
  
Marik: Ooh, do you think I would look good in tights like that, Odion?  
  
Odion: Do I have to answer that, Master Marik?  
  
Marik: - Yes, as a matter of fact, you do.  
  
Odion: Oh. Well in that case, I think you'd look better in black tights, master.  
  
Marik:   
  
Bandit Keith: So, you kids gonna take the survey, or what?  
  
Tristan: What's it about?  
  
Bandit Keith: Some lame question. Lemme see *takes out clipboard*  
  
Yami: Yugi, do you think we should take this survey' he speaks of?  
  
Yugi: I'm not sure, Yami. I've never trusted Bandit Keith, you know.  
  
Yami: Right, let's keep our guard up, then.  
  
Duke: o_o Um, it's just a little question, guys.  
  
Yami: -_-' You never know, Duke.  
  
Bandit Keith: The question is boxers or briefs?  
  
Tea: As in, which do you prefer on guys?  
  
Bandit Keith: No, as in, which do you wear?  
  
Tea: guess I can't take it then.  
  
Bandit Keith: Actually, you could add your own category, you know. So, you kids wanna make ten easy bucks, or not?  
  
Joey: Sure, I'm game. Then I can give my ten bucks to Yug, to help pay his fee.  
  
Yami: Be careful, Joey! It could be a trap!  
  
Everyone else: -_-U  
  
Joey: Where do I sign?  
  
Bandit Keith: Right here. *hands Joey the clipboard*  
  
Joey: *puts a check in the boxers' column*  
  
Tristan: I'll take it, too. *checks off boxers'*  
  
Bandit Keith: *hands Joey and Tristan ten dollars each* Good, anybody else?  
  
Tea: Okay, gimme the clipboard.  
  
Joey handed the survey to Tea, and watched as she scribbled furiously. Apparently Tea had decided to make her own column  
  
Tea: I'm done.  
  
Duke: Here, I'll take it.  
  
As Duke took the clipboard, his sharp green eyes darted over the three check marks his friends had made. Two checks under boxers' and one under frilly lace panties.' After coming to the conclusion that the third check mark was Tea's, Duke looked over the categories and sighed. He, too, would have to bravely make his own column.  
  
Bandit Keith: *hands Tea and Duke ten dollars each* You gonna take it, Yugi?  
  
Yugi: Um, I guess so.  
  
Yugi checked off briefs,' and was about to hand the clipboard back to Bandit Keith, but his innocent curiosity got the better of him. He saw the two checks under boxers,' and the check in Tea's personal category. Then he saw the column Duke had added - miscellaneous leather speedo-type thingies.'  
  
Yugi: O.O  
  
Duke: ^^; Well, now we've got enough money for Yugi's fee, right?  
  
Joey: Let's see ten bucks times five people is uh  
  
Tea: -_-; Fifty dollars. That's enough money!  
  
Yugi: Mm-hmm. Hey, it's a good thing Grandpa's not here - he'd have to check off adult diapers'! ^^;  
  
Yami: o_o Don't speak of such things!  
  
Yugi: -_-; Okay, let's go.  
  
Yami: Wait! I, too, will take this survey.  
  
Yugi: Uh, we already have enough money, Yami.  
  
Yami: I must take this undergarment survey the fate of the world depends on it! *poses*  
  
Yugi: -_-U   
  
Yami put a check under briefs.' He was about to recap the pen, but then he had a second thought, and added something in parentheses:   
  
(the gold briefs with the little Millennium eye symbols all over them)   
  
Now pleased with himself, Yami smiled and put the cap back on the pen.  
  
Joey: Alright, now we're definitely done here.  
  
Ryou: But I didn't get to take the survey!  
  
Yugi: o_o You want to take it?!?  
  
Ryou: ^^ Yea, it looks kind of fun.  
  
Yugi: Well, here you go. *hands survey to Ryou*  
  
Ryou: let me see I don't wear boxers  
  
Joey and Tristan:   
  
Ryou: and no briefs for me  
  
Yugi and Yami: o.O  
  
Ryou: I don't wear frilly lace panties  
  
Tea: darn it!  
  
Joey: Good, I was gettin' a little worried there. -_-;  
  
Ryou: and I don't have any miscellaneous leather speedo-type thingies  
  
Tristan:   
  
Joey: Who put that down?  
  
Duke: ^^U Heh heh!  
  
Ryou: Guess I'll have to make my own category then!  
  
Everyone watched in suspense as Ryou Bakura slowly scrawled out a new column - Victoria's Secret French-cut seamless silk underwear.'  
  
Everyone: @.@  
  
At this moment, Bakura returned from his money hunt and saw the wide-eyed expressions on the faces of his hikari's friends  
  
Bakura: What's the hell's going on, Ryou?  
  
Ryou: All I did was fill out this survey *shows Bakura the survey and his personal column*  
  
Bakura: __ You could've written down, other,' you know!  
  
Ryou: But I wanted to let everyone know how great my underwear is! ^^U  
  
Bakura: -_-'   
  
Ryou: ^^; they're really soft.  
  
Tea: Are they as soft as your hair?  
  
Ryou: I don't know  
  
Tea: Can I find out?  
  
Ryou: O___o  
  
The screeching tires of a shiny black car saved poor Ryou from certain humiliation. Maximillion Pegasus stepped out of this dignity-saving car, and ambled towards the uninspired trash can.  
  
Bakura, seeing this, suddenly remembered how unsuccessful his little stealing adventure had been. There were plenty of people around, but they were all broke. All Bakura managed to get was two dollars and a dime he found in a crack on the sidewalk. Desperate to continue in the semifinals, Bakura reached into the pocket of the still-stunned Bandit Keith, and pulled out five ten-dollar bills - just as Pegasus reached the trash can podium.'  
  
Pegasus: I hope all four semifinalists have their fees covered.  
  
Bakura: Here, you eccentric tart! *throws money to Pegasus*  
  
Yugi: Here's my money, Pegasus. *hands Pegasus fifty dollars*  
  
Pegasus: Thank you, Yugi-boy. And your donation, Kaiba-boy?  
  
Seto: *tosses money on podium*  
  
Pegasus: A fifty-dollar bill, huh? I'm guessing you didn't take Bandit Keith's little survey then, hmm? Didja, Kaiba-boy?  
  
Seto: No, I didn't feel like being stripped of my dignity.  
  
Pegasus: No matter. I can always look into the subject, you know.  
  
Seto: ¬_¬ What do you mean?  
  
Pegasus: Heh heh *Millennium Eye flashes*  
  
Yami: o.o   
  
Pegasus: Tell me something, my old friend. Did you like wearing cartoon character briefs in your youth?  
  
Seto: O_O  
  
Pegasus: Is that a no? Kaiba, you're even more cold-hearted than I thought! For me, they were the absolute best! As a matter of fact, they still are - I just love my Funny Bunny briefs! ^_^ But enough about me, Kaiba-boy. What kind of underwear do you wear? Hmm?  
  
Seto: I am not going to tell you what kind of underwear I wear! That is ridiculous!  
  
Pegasus: Very well, have it your way. Then I'll just have to see for myself! *Millennium Eye flashes again*  
  
Yami: . Oh no!  
  
Pegasus: I see blue I see white could it be?! The Blue-Eyes White Brief!?  
  
Seto: O_____o  
  
Pegasus: I was right, right? Please tell me I was right. I so hope I was right!  
  
Seto: O_____o  
  
Pegasus: -_-; Oh dear looks like he's in shock. Croquet, get the doctor. In the meantime, may I collect your fee, Rod-boy?  
  
Marik: My name is Marik, you fool! Now don't try any funny Millennium Eye business with me, or you'll feel the wrath of my Millennium Rod!  
  
Pegasus: Don't tempt me, Rod-boy now where's your money?  
  
Marik: *hands Pegasus a large jar of pennies*  
  
Pegasus: What's this? You're paying in pennies? -_-'  
  
Marik: Yes, that's what the money-changing people gave me in exchange for my Egyptian coins.  
  
Odion: Here's the rest, Master Marik. *places several smaller jars of pennies on the trash can*  
  
Pegasus: -_-U I'd like to thank each semifinalist for paying his fee on such short notice. We'll begin the semifinals soon after Kaiba-boy wakes up. ^^;  
  
Odion: Not that I minded carrying the pennies, master, but why didn't you just take that survey? Then we could've made an extra twenty dollars.  
  
Marik: You fool! I'm not about to tell the world that I wear gold underwear with little Millennium eye symbols on them!  
  
~***~  
  
End of chappie 14 hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading & please review! ^_^


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